Faster Fall
by Midnight Isn't
Summary: In the space of a year, Egwene al'Vere's life runs off the road and into something that looks like the end of the world. An attempt at an AU with modern, not mediaeval, tech levels.
1. Chapter 1

Time is a turning wheel, the ages its arc between spokes and individual lives like the threads spun out into a greater pattern. In one age, on one rotation, a storm blew through the heart of Manetheren, buffeting frozen trees, dropping precious little snow on the Mountains of Mist.

A wheel is also a turning wheel, and just as capricious as destiny in its way. As the storm pushed through the Two Rivers Valley, Egwene al'Vere found herself concerned most with the wheel under her hands.

"If you want me to take over any time, just pull over -"

"I'm fine. The snow isn't even sticking yet."

"The wind, Eggs -"

"The wind is going to blow no matter who's driving," the younger woman muttered. She darted a glance at her eldest sister before fixing it back to the mountain road. "Am I learning to drive here or not?"

Berowyn didn't respond - technically - but Egwene could practically hear her jaw set. After another minute, it creaked open. "We should be turning back now, anyway."

Egwene managed not to sigh. It wasn't easy. She knew she had plenty of time to practice - her nameday was still closer to half a year away. And there was work to do, back at the hotel - a lot of work, if she wanted to have any time to actually enjoy the festival this year. She knew, and she pulled over - but she really, really wanted to keep going.

Before she could sweep back across the road and head back south, a three-part jointed hauler swept by, much too fast.

"What in the name of -" Berowyn didn't hide her panic, merely transmuted it to self-righteous fury._ A Manetheren sterotype in full flower._ "Why the outsiders have to send us their biggest idiots, every Bel Tine - have they heard of paying attention?" She cooled, only slightly, to round on Egwene again. "If you want me to drive back ..."

"It's okay. I've got it." She swept back across the road before Berowyn could unhook her lapbelt. Honestly, she understood her sister's stress - she sort of did - but then why did she even agree to the lessons in the first place? _Probably so she can stop driving the shuttle from the capital. __Foist it off on me._

"Just stay back a safe distance, okay? You don't need to pass the hauler, not on this kind of road in this weather ..." Egwene nodded politely, letting the intermittent stream of advice wash over her for the rest of the drive.

She really was looking forward to Bel Tine, after all.

And to driving. Definitely, that.

ioioioi

According to Tam al'Thor, Bel Tine was one of the oldest festivals in the world. "Even Firstday is pretty recent," he'd said, some years ago - was she eight that year, or nine? - "not that there wasn't always a start to the new year, but having every place agree on that day ..." He'd trailed off, then. He usually did when he talked about the world outside, and waved off whoever asked with an admonition to go do something more interesting.

Bel Tine belonged to home, though; in ways Egwene hadn't even questioned back then, it seemed to belong to Aemon's Field in particular. Apparently the battle the town was named for had come at the start of spring, or close enough, and they'd turned the holiday into a sort of combined celebration.

And, well, she had to admit that her hometown was _traditional _about it.

Her parents did their best to keep it that way - having the town's only real hotel, and that right on the Green, ensured that a rustic country festival was good for business. "A few distant cousins down from the City of -" that was Manetheren, which always lost its real name in reference - "down from the City of, and we're solvent until the next spring." It had  
only recently begun to bother Egwene that her father could still sound so folksy when he used a word like _solvent_.

But the family behind the Winespring Hotel - her parents, only three of her sisters now that Alene was studying in Tanchico, and Egwene herself - had plenty to do in the days before. Egwene couldn't help thinking that Berowyn got off lightly, driving the shuttle from the Taren ferry stop for city people who couldn't drive themselves. Egwene had to handle the lobby - meaning Berowyn's guests, when she brought them in in their tired, impatient clusters, as well as deliveries for the festival on the green.

_I wonder if that truck wasn't for us after all,_ she thought idly, scanning the list of reserved rooms again._ Or maybe it got here long enough before I __did that they finished unloading at the back before we could see it._

She stood up straighter as the delivery bell rang. The door opened immediately after, though, and before she could get out from behind the banister she recognised the voice wafting through.

"She's probably really busy, and -"

"Just tell her I'm here, Rand. I called Marin earlier, so everything's in hand."

"But I can -" Half-stumbling, Rand al'Thor backed through the door.

A shock of red hair suspended two paces above the ground, he spun around awkwardly, like his feet had molded to his father's truck's pedals in the last hour and forgotten how to handle a simple floor. Egwene was jealous - but of course she was. He'd probably told her he was driving their brandy delivery this year just to _make_ her jealous. But he smiled at her.

"Uh, hi." He shifted nervously, as he always seemed to do lately. Like he still wasn't used to his shoulders, and kept having to adjust their fit. "The brandy ..."

In memory the next seconds would slow down, but at the time it was fast: the lobby window lit an impossible orange, she felt the beginning of a shout leave her throat only to disappear into an impossible roar. Through a world gone blurry, and as she tried belatedly to get down, she saw Rand slam into the reception desk. His jacket was on fire.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: are these still a thing? I don't own the Wheel of Time series. I have no right to mess with it like this, but I am not making money.

**Chapter 2**

Egwene dreamed half the night away.

She liked that, because she would wake up for bare moments still feeling like the smoke was drowning her, like she was still crawling to Rand and trying to roll him over to stop the flames as the check-in desk caught fire too, so she had to drag him out where maybe there was air but the door was on fire and she dragged him toward the foot of the stairs instead but he woke up just enough to scream and pull away -

She coughed, held herself as still as possible, and then it was almost like she could hold her breath and fall asleep again before anyone said too much more.

"It just needs to work its way out of her system, but if you want -"

_She crossed the desert without shoes, but even though her feet blistered she couldn't feel it. Someone told her she wouldn't, so she didn't._

"They were all out preparing their herd for the city folk to ride, I don't know why Mat in particular got hit. He was lucky -"

_The minute the horses arrived in the desert, she tied them to the skeletons of trees. Without anything happening between, then, she was in a garden like Ms. Barran used to grow, and there was a plant she knew she was supposed to uproot and burn but she was afraid to even touch it._

"That woman who found them, is she still around?"

"She stayed with Rand, but he really needs to be moved to Manetheren with -"

_Rand was in handcuffs, but not in prison. He looked at her across the river, then looked upstream, but all she saw when she did likewise was a shivering, heavy bank of fog._

"It just hit the Green, right in front of their garage. Haral threw a tarp over -"

_There was a flying beast, one of the Seanchan megafauna she read about in school in the stories about slave revolts there. Except this wasn't dark but gold and red, and it had a wolf in its mouth, and she thought they ate leaves and not mammals. Puzzling. She thought it might be a dream._ She woke up.

There was a mask over her mouth, gently pushing humid and slightly warm air through her lips. Her stomach churned. _That's a problem_. She ripped the mask off, coughing, and tried to get to her feet.

"Egwene!" After the voice, she heard clicking footsteps from the door, then the squeal of a trashcan being slid across the floor. She met it on her knees, and just in time.

Humiliated, she stayed there when she finished, resolvedly not looking up.

Why is there a television in here? Why's it on?

"Egwene?" She thought she recognised the voice, but not the shoes, so she had hoped she was wrong. She was in Nynaeve's clinic, then, one of the back rooms. Why is she wearing heels?

"Are you okay, Egwene?"

Egwene couldn't think of anything but mouthwash. "Mouthwash."

"Huh?"

"I really need mouthwash." She had to stop for an awkwardly long time between some of those words. Nynaeve muttered something about the girl having been more polite as a child - through her headache Egwene realised she was the girl Nynaeve meant, but couldn't really care - because there was a little cup of mouthwash, and then an arm around her waist to help her back onto the bed.

Nynaeve then tried to put the mask back on directly, but Egwene jerked away. "Is anyone else - I mean, other people got hurt. Rand. And Mr. al'Th - okay? He was outsi -" she couldn't brook the next fit of coughing. Nynaeve put a hand on her shoulder, steadying her or at least propping her up, with a sort of a wince on her face the whole time.

"You need more sleep. With the mask on."

"I was sleeping."

"It's two hours to dawn."

Egwene was sleeping - dreaming - but not the whole time. "Something else happened. More than just the Winespring, right?"

Nynaeve closed her eyes. "There were three attacks." Opened them. "Nobody is dead, this morning." _This morning._ "But you need to put your mask back on, and I need to check on Tam."

She watched Egwene put the mask back on, nodded in satisfaction, almost even smiled as she took clicking steps to the door. Heels, really?

Egwene, in her stifling mask, watched the news - all about Caemlyn. People there were rioting. And there were attacks from the Blight in the north as usual, seven dead in Kandor. More about the riots. A pale-haired woman discussed it - by gateway, not video - with the newscaster, who had a name that might have been Kandori, actually. His heart wasn't in the discussion.

She wanted to see something - just some mention maybe - of Aemon's Field and the fact that someone had attacked her family's hotel (or managed to crash something in just the wrong spot, atop a truck of alcohol), but there was nothing._ Maybe tomorrow._

_It is tomorrow._

She slept without dreams.

oioio

"I will try to bring them back with me, Siuan. But you know that being in the MAR makes it sensitive."

Egwene had never heard that voice before in her life.

"Believe me, I know." Nor that one. "I also - does it have to be all three, really?"

"They were all targeted. I would rather play it safe."

Egwene opened her eyes, blinking and briefly puzzled to only see one woman in her room. Leaning against the door, she seemed to be talking to the window. Which talked back.

"In terms of not drawing attention, though, Moiraine -"

Egwene turned her head toward the window, trying to keep it as flat as possible. She could be subtle. Why had Nynaeve given her such a noisy pillow?

Where the window wall had been, she saw a woman sitting in a spare but spacious office, running her hand through short black hair and spinning a pen between her fingers. Like that interview last night.

_There is a gateway link in this room. That _isn't_ normal._

"- I have mentioned that the silverpike are snapping their jaws around here, haven't I?" The woman through the gateway clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Find a way to get them out, and we'll manage. did it have to be Manetheren?"

_What's wrong with Manetheren?_ Egwene thought reflexively. Then, blinking, she thought back: _three - all targeted - was I -?_

"There are reasons young men would leave home, Siuan. And even visit Tar Valon. Even men from Manetheren." The woman in the room with her - short and dark-haired like a local woman, but pale and somehow foreign even in the way she took two steps toward the gateway - attempted a light laugh. "If I can persuade them to follow me, you can find them a safe haven. No question."

Egwene might have startled in spite of herself.

"Is that a challenge? I was still hoping you could narrow it down to -" The woman through the gateway made to stand up, then stopped. "Is that patient one of your three? You might want to know he's waking up."

The last few words weren't out fully when the woman - Moiraine - stopped in her tracks, gaze swinging to Egwene's bed. She didn't glare, exactly, but Egwene could hear the deep breath she drew.

"She is another matter altogether, but I will contact you again soon." Moiraine flicked her wrist - just like that - and the woman through the gateway, who had at least stopped approaching it, stepped back as the hole in reality shrunk to a single line of light. _That isn't normal,_ Egwene thought again, uselessly.

A woman who could close a gateway, and so probably had made it in the first place, was turning to face her bed fully. A woman who sounded like she worked out of Tar Valon - _Tar Valon -_ took two smooth steps, and Egwene started to sit up, raising her hands, thinking there must be some right thing to say right then, but would she really want to talk to an Aes Sedai at all?

"Good morning," the Aes Sedai said. "How are you feeling?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

While she tried to find some coherent response, Egwene examined the Aes Sedai. She looked strangely delicate, considering what she was. Her hair curled like a porcelain doll's, and her face didn't detract from the effect, narrowed eyes aside. She looked young, if somehow frozen, but her eyes didn't. Not really. Egwene shook her head.

"What happened to my mask?" she finally murmured. _Not that I miss it, but it would be such a good excuse not to talk right now._

"You won't need it. A bit of healing seemed fair exchange for this visit." A small smile, and then: "You're a lucky girl. Your friend was also lucky."

Egwene sat up fully at that. "Is Rand okay, then? Did you help -" She froze as the woman's earlier words hit her. _Healing? She healed me. She used that _power_ on me._

"You helped him first." Moiraine glided toward the door, but settled into one of the simple chairs beside it. "Thus my interest in you. It's Egwene, isn't it?"

"What happened to Rand?"

Moiraine was unfazed. "I am Moiraine. Although I suspect you heard that, and the Light knows what else. How are you feeling?"

_Like it isn't worth standing up and running away to report you, because my spinning head would knock me over._ "I feel better."

"Good." She said it like she meant it. "Perhaps that town physician will release you when she returns. I suppose that will be soon."

Egwene shook her head again, eyes closed. "Did she let you in?" Nynaeve might be unconventional, but this seemed a bit beyond even for her. She couldn't have known. But then why let her in?

"She didn't. But she doesn't know what I know." Foreboding entered the other woman's expression. "You will need to be watched over the next few days. The reaction to channeling hits girls differently, but in this part of the continent it seems particularly strong."

Egwene swung her feet off the bed - finally - but only stared in shock. "What are you even talking about?"

"You can - whether you like it or not, and unfortunately your culture has probably ensured that you won't - channel _saidar_." The woman might have been irritated - her hands tapped the armrests - but her voice only indicated pity. "You couldn't get away from the fire, so you deprived it of air. Specifically. I almost wish I had seen it, rather than only feeling it, but if it was your first touch - well. It's very impressive."

Egwene, still stung by the woman's unwanted pity, and feeling the urge to rebel, pushed to her feet. The blood seemed to sink out of her head then, but she steadined herself and focused on pointing a glare at this storytelling stranger. "You think I can channel, so you want to watch me for a few days? Good luck. I'll tell Nynaeve that you broke into her clinic to hold meetings by gateway in a patient's room, and we'll both see how long she lets you stay_ anywhere_ in the vicinity of Aemon's Field."

Moiraine blinked at her, and then - lightly, unexpectedly - laughed. "Egwene, I am glad to finally meet the young woman I heard about -"

"From who?"

"- but I also have to say, I suspect you will keep my secrets for the time being. Because I will find a way to keep yours while you decide what to do." She stood, and fixed Egwene with a very open look. "Even here, I am certain you've heard that Aes Sedai never lie?"

In place of opening the door, she waved a trail of light down its length, and a smaller gateway spread parallel to the doorframe. "I will be in Manetheren again today, as though I never left, really. I would carry your regards to your friend, if I could. Good morning, Egwene."

The gateway closed, leaving Egwene to stare at the door, mentally repeating the things she should have said until - finally - Nynaeve returned (bringing Egwene's father to wait just outside), reprimanded her for removing the mask, checked her breathing, and sighed in relief as she told her to go home. "You've always bounced back so quickly. I shouldn't be surprised."

Egwene was surprised that she hugged her on the way out, though. To her father, she added: "Take the back way, Bran. And get some rest today."

"Get some yourself, Wisdom. Especially before you get behind the wheel again."

Egwene had always wished she could raise a single eyebrow the way Nynaeve could, but the other woman looked so tired right then that the gesture lost some impact.

oioio

She wondered for a moment why her father hadn't picked her up by car, but the scene before her eyes quickly pushed that kind of question aside.

Aemon's Field was a wreck.

Blinking a few times, she reconsidered: parts of the town were wrecked. Maybe every tenth house. The destruction was isolated and ubiquitous at the same, and all the more stunning because of it.

"Your mother has the shuttle," her father finally said. "And your sisters have the other cars. Some of the guests wanted to leave ... " He trailed off. Egwene shuddered, because Bran al'Vere didn't shy away from words - if anything, he had the opposite of stage fright. The bigger the audience, the easier it was for him to speak. But last night, their town had changed, and all of the usual problems - the kind he was so good as helping to resolver - must look much smaller now.

"Nynaeve said you'd be fine to walk," he finally finished.

"I am. I'm fine." She hesitated. _What happened? What was happening when I was tucked away with a stupid air mask over my mouth?_

They passed Luhhan Automotive, and her father slowed his steps just a bit. On the side of the Green opposite the hotel, the Luhhans' shop was a slightly worn behemoth, with its garages visible but its lot tucked away in the back. A large shape approaching the public entrance could have been either of the owners at first glance - but the glass door opened, and after a blink Egwene recognized the emerging figure as neither Luhhan, but their assistant Perrin Aybara.

Her father waved, halting their walk around the corner. "Perrin."

Perrin ducked his head. "Mister al'Vere. Hi, Egwene."

"How are you lot, after last night?"

Perrin shook his head. Somehow, his hair was always just a little too long; dark curls tapped his cheeks. "Lucky, I guess. I'd just left, but the Luhhans say that whatever fell came within a few feet of the garage. With some of the fluids it could have been -" He paused, then asked slowly: "Was everyone at the hotel okay? I heard the -"

The proprietary couple burst through the door - not at once; they'd never both fit - but they were both loud, and both so engrossed in speculation that they didn't seem to see anything else at first.

"- it's right there, Haral, in the readout. You saw. It was pointed at us." Alsbet Luhhan's face was flushed, but then it was always flushed. The way she flailed her arms was another story. An ex-champion boxer, Alsbet was famous in town for knowing her own strength - and so never, ever being anything but calm unless something went very wrong. "So why did it miss? What aren't you telling me?"

Haral put up his hands, and glanced at the trio of bystanders for just a moment before answering. "Why would I lie to you? If it didn't hit true, maybe it was faulty. It happens."

"And you think we should just send it off to the city, not knowing who sent it? You could have died, Haral. Good morning, Bran." She had finally noticed them. "Perrin, did you get anything done on that northerner's old Misericorde this morning?"

Perrin blushed. Even today, Egwene found that funny. "He came by to pick it up, actually. I told him it might run rough, and he just said he'll be back tonight."

Haral swung his head around. "Did he pay you before you let him drive off with a new battery and spark plugs?"

Perrin just nodded, and both Luhhans seemed to relax. Egwene's father, with his skill for shifting things back on track (Egwene wished she had more of that), stepped forward. "It's good to see you both well. What a night."

Haral's expression was usually somewhat sober, but Alsbet's settled to match it in a heartbeat. "Such a bad night. Everyone got out of the Winespring in time?"

"Yes, fortunately. The fire didn't spread far. Tam and his boy got the worst of it there, and Egwene here needed some treatment for the smoke. It could have been much worse."

"And none of those - beasts got in the way?" Haral shook his head. "Fine enough that they didn't, of course, but ..."

Egwene started, unnoticed by the three adults, but Perrin caught her eye and she stepped a little closer. "What beasts?"

Perrin exhaled, very slowly, considering. "You know those books with the old engravings of that war against Shadow beasts from the north, where some of them are shaped like men except with horns and hooves?" Egwene nodded. "They were like that, some of them."

"Trollocs?"

Perrin shook his head. "They're not calling them -" he lowered his already soft voice - "Trollocs. And if -"

"They sound like Trollocs. I mean ..." Egwene glanced around. "You saw them?"

"I did. So did Mat, up close, and he says the same thing you do. Well, with more swearing."

"He saw them up close?" Egwene was flabbergasted. "Is he okay?"

"They attacked his family's horses, and he was right in the middle of it. Then he says a flaming - I mean, an actually flaming missile or something hit the, um, beasts, and it killed the horse he was on and broke his leg."

Egwene gasped. "And his family? Is Bode okay?"

"He didn't say, so probably. All he mentioned was himself being up in the City of for treatment, and how they airlifted him but his ma was furious they wouldn't let her come along." Perrin paused. "So she's okay, I guess."

"When did you see him?"

Perrin shook his head. The curls, again. "I didn't, he just called. He said he couldn't reach Rand. He's okay?"

Egwene hesitated. "I think he was pretty bad. But they - I mean, I think Nynaeve got him moved up to the city with his da, so -" she tried to sound more confident - "they should take good care of them both." She probably failed.

Perrin looked down. "I know Tam was really bad. A lot of people saw his truck go up in flames, and then it looked like -" he glanced over to the Luhhans. "The things looked ready to run over from here, Mrs. Luhhan said. People were fighting, and the things just started torching houses to try to get through. None of it -"

"That's what happened? They weren't hit by drones like, well -" she gestured toward the tarp-draped lump on the Green. "Like that?"

"No." Perrin paused. "Most of them were running from that, in the end."

"How -" Egwene stopped short as her father turned back to face her. He walked over - Egwene hadn't realised how far she and Perrin had moved off.

"What's wrong?" She hated the question as she said it. _What isn't wrong this morning?_

"The council is going to meet up - those of us who can, at least -" he sighed and ran a hand over the bald top of his head. "Will you be okay on your own? Most of the rooms are safe, including yours."

"I'll be fine." Perrin murmured something about getting to work, since the Luhhans would be gone. Egwene waved goodbye, sort of annoyed at his abandonment in spite of herself. Not that she could probably make sense of any _more_ information right now - she needed about a week just to handle what she'd heard so far - but on the other hand, she'd rather know. She _should_ know. She shook her head. "I'll see you later, Da?" It was a question.

"I'll be back when I can. Egwene ... " he reached out, settled a hand on her shoulder. "You might want to use the side entrance, not the back."

She nodded automatically. _What's at the back?_

She cut across the Green, not quite at war with her curiosity but definitely displeased with it._ Don't be morbid. If it's beasts - Trollocs, even - with holes in them, or their heads ripped off -_

She must not have been paying attention, because as she rounded the hotel she almost ran into a tall, dark-haired woman. "I'm sorry!" That fast, her heart started racing, and she looked up to see an unfamiliar but very pretty face glaring down at her.

"_You_ don't need to be sorry." Her emphasis bothered Egwene more than it should. "You're the girl from the lobby."

Egwene nodded. _At least she's not angry with_ me. "It's my family's hotel." But she didn't recognise this guest, and that struck her as unusual.

"I meant after the fire." The woman paused on the brink of something else to say, but shook her head. "Just watch out, then."

As she moved on, Egwene shivered. She used the side entrance, crawled into her bed, and fixedly didn't think about the fact that her window overlooked the hotel's back alley.

**AN**: Thank you for reviewing, chibimin! This was a pretty talky chapter, but the next should have more excitement.

Unrelatedly, my phone tried to rename the Trollocs "trololos". So that's unnerving.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

She had barely woken when she heard a knock on her door. "Come in," she mumbled.

After a moment, the knock sounded again. She rolled over and pushed herself to her feet, wondering who in her family had possibly started respecting her privacy. "What? Who is it?" In the few paces to the door, she shook her hair out of her face - mostly - and tried to make her eyes focus in the afternoon light. She opened the door.

And wondered if she was actually awake at all. Men that beautiful didn't just show up in the hallway, knocking on her door, did they?

"Egwene?" he asked, though not so much like a question as an excuse to have something to say. "I need you to come with me. If you need a few minutes, to gather your things -"

"What?" She stepped back, finally registering what he'd said. "Who are you, and what do you mean I have to - where am I supposed to be going?" Is he crazy?

He ran a hand through his hair (his glossy, dark hair, which didn't fall in his face at all but just framed it), and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. My name is Galad." He bowed; it struck Egwene as archaic. "I'm Moiraine's nephew, and she asked me to pick you up. We'll meet her downstairs -"

"Moiraine? The Aes Se -"

"Shh!" Like a reflex, Galad nudged her back out of the doorway. Then he halted. "May I come in?"

"No." Egwene narrowed her eyes. "I've never even seen you before. And I don't know what that - your aunt told you, but I didn't say I was going with her anywhere. She didn't ask."

Galad sighed again, and braced himself against the doorframe. "She probably thought we would have more time to persuade you, but things have changed. You really ought to start packing."

"To go where?"

"To Tar Valon." He said it clearly enough, but very quietly. "You can channel, she said. We won't be able to come back here any time soon, but she won't leave you to die here." He seemed to check her face for some reaction, and she turned away just to deny him any sign. _That's right. The Aes Sedai said I used _that_ power. _She hadn't even let herself think about it, but in a flash of clarity she realised she didn't really_ mind_ thinking about it. _I should be horrified. That's the force that burned Manetheren's heart to the ground twice, and the power that corrupts and chains the world. A terrifying force, right? _But she wasn't terrified. She was curious. _Oh, Light, Egwene._

With a deep breath, she turned around. "She wants me to follow her to Tar Valon for training?"

Galad, who stood awkwardly - maybe showing apprehension where his face didn't - nodded. He didn't call her on using the city's name, either, but she noticed that he glanced down the hall. Both ways. "It's the safest option. For you and for your friends."

"Because I assume that's how they usually recruit? They find someone using that power -"

"It's called _saidar_."

She halted. "For me _and_ my friends? Who else does your aunt imagine is going to go with her?"

Galad shook his head, and then felt his pocket. He checked his phone, which was the flat and sleek multi-purpose kind guests from outside were always trying (and failing) to make work in the lower Two Rivers. "I know she was talking to Perrin, and sent me to you because -" he stopped in his tracks. "Does this mean you're coming?"

"No, I'm just ... "

From the alley below, Egwene heard shouting, and raced over to open her window. _If something is happening again, I won't miss it. I'll do something this time._

"Oh, no, that northerner is snooping around again." Galad hadn't asked to follow her, he'd just done it, and was leaning over her shoulder now.

Egwene vaguely recognised the man in the alley - he must be one of their guests - but the woman, who had not shouted but seemed to be speaking with conviction now, she more than recognised. "What is your aunt doing?"

"Probably trying to keep him from starting a panic in the streets. I don't know who he thinks he is, but you and I probably need to go now." He turned away, but she looked back at him and he stopped to meet her eyes. "Just come with me? I'm sorry you couldn't pack anything, but we'll -"

Egwene rolled her eyes, then picked up the jacket she was pretty sure she'd left her wallet in. "I'll come downstairs."_ It's not like I have to go anywhere with them afterward._ "Maybe I can let them know my mother won't appreciate guests yelling at each other in the loading area."

Galad didn't really look back, but started walking. Irritating.

Egwene shut the door behind her, looking over her shoulder as Galad strode down the hall. "Hey. The back stairs are on this side of the building."

oioio

They were just a few seconds too late.

"That woman is Aes Sedai!" Egwene's mother must have heard the fight, too; she glanced over as Egwene shut the back door behind her, but looked back at her hotel's unruly guests levelly. As much as possible, anyway, whem one of those guests was a head and a half taller and furious.

"This isn't the Tairen Provinces, Mister Andra. She is permitted to be here."

"But is she permitted to mislead your people? In that pile of Trollocs, I found badges from at least three clans. Your village is in danger, and while I don't know why -"

"I do know why," Moiraine broke in. "As I believe I told you. I know exactly who was targeted last night, and have made plans to protect them. Without causing the sort of terror in your people that Mister Andra here seems intent on inspiring."

Marin al'Vere didn't spook easily, but she was shocked now. Egwene could see it if no one else could.

"You have plans, Aes Sedai? We can be sure they will succeed, then." The bitterness in the man's voice disappeared when he shook his head, like water from a wolf's fur, and he turned to Egwene's mother again. "I do not believe as she does that your people will collapse into a panic if I alert them to the facts. But as she has _disappeared_ the evidence I saw earlier, I can only ask for your support."

Egwene froze. Disappeared? Vaguely she remembered hearing that there had been something to avoid at the back of the hotel, right were she stood now. There was nothing. In fact, the alley looked freshly swept. Looking at the Aes Sedai, she spoke without thinking: "What did you do?"

"Hello, Egwene." Moiraine eyed her steadily, but Galad stepped forward as the man, Andra, looked their way as well. "I'm afraid this won't be settled here, Marin. Thank you." She moved a few steps toward the side driveway, but stepped back as a thin, harried man ducked round her. "Marin! There you are. That last delivery should be on its way now - again, I'm so sorry it was misrouted last night." He stopped for breath, finally, but didn't even look around.

"Thank you, Padan." Marin almost sounded relieved. Padan Fain was one of the hotel's suppliers, and while he usually exemplified what Bode called "sweating the small swallop", he seemed quite oblivious to the argument he had interrupted.

Moiraine examined the newcomer coolly, but Andra, the giant with a furrowed brow and an inexplicable expertise in Trollocs, simply huffed and began to leave. He rounded the corner from shadow to shadow, and it hit Egwene that it must be early evening. Galad, who finally stepped back, said something that sounded like "that's that" very quietly. From the green, the first strains of music - the old-fashioned kind, fiddle and flute - struck up.

"Will the festival be going as usual, then, Marin? You do still want everything?"

Marin's relief faded a bit. "We will be trying. A few more precautions this year, after last night's troubles, but -" she glanced at Moiraine, oddly enough. "Will you be attending tonight, ma'am?"

"I would like to," the Aes Sedai answered very evenly. "My nephew and I -" she gestured to Galad - "have never been anywhere quite like this."

Marin's smile was a bit guarded. "Is that who this young man is, Egwene?"

She wasn't sure what to say, but Galad stepped in. "I asked if your daughter would show me around tonight, but if she has other responsibilities -" he cut off at the look Marin was giving him.

"That is up to Egwene." She knew her mother's look - it said _you can answer my questions now, or answer later and do it _especially_ thoroughly_. She felt like shrinking back against the wall, but she nodded instead. "Let's go. Mama, I'll see you."

She wasn't sure why she took Galad's hand to lead him around the hotel, until he kicked something spearpoint-shaped that rattled as it skidded to the wall. They hurried into the thickening fray of Bel Tine celebrants.

oioio

Galad was a good dancer. Distracted, maybe, but quick enough on his feet that she might not have noticed if she weren't looking for it. He didn't say much, of course; finally, she asked if he was hungry just to say something, and promptly realised she herself was starving.

"What do you want?"

She sighed. "Come on, we'll see who bothered to come out tonight."

Her mother was selling honey cakes and cheese-stuffed bread on the hotel side of the green, but Egwene didn't really want to risk a single question she couldn't answer right then._ That Aes Sedai and her nephew invited me to run away to Tar Valon, Mama. And I'm tempted._

She steered Galad in the opposite direction, and nearly broke into a run when she smelled cinnamon and hot apples. Was it the Aybaras? She'd never exactly gotten along with Perrin's sisters, to put it lightly, but their family's tarts and turnovers were worth any level of awkward interaction. Especially, she realised, when she had an especially attractive man staying within two feet of her at all times tonight. _Let them chew on that_.

Pastries (and then second pastries) in hand, they were walking the edge of the gathering, when the music stopped at a shout. "She brought them in, for all we know!" Cenn Buie had taken the stage, and the microphone.

"Who is that?" Galad asked.

"Oh, no," was all Egwene said.

"Everyone -" Cenn glared at the microphone when it popped, checked it, then lifted it more carefully. He still held it too close to his mouth. "I hate to put a damper on this night, on Bel Tine -"

"No you don't!" someone shouted from the crowd.

Cenn was undeterred. "But some of our young people - the young of our village, right here - are in danger, and you all deserve to know. To protect them."

"How much have you had to drink, Buie?" the fiddler asked, stepping up to him and trying to wrest the microphone away. "Come on, man -" Cenn pulled back, shaking his head.

"They are in danger from an Aes Sedai witch. Who, she, wanted to spirit them away tonight, and she -"

Egwene hadn't noticed her father racing - insofar as he could - across the Green, but he trailed Abell Cauthon. Only the second man managed to vault onto the front of the stage as Cenn continued.

"They _may_ be gone already. Where is the Aybara boy? Have any of you seen him since dusk?"

A few voices carried, with the scent of apples, from his family's stand. Apparently he was there. _Must be interesting for him_.

"Keep your eyes on him! I heard him talking to the witch -" Cenn started as Mr. Cauthon gripped his right forearm, pulling away the mic. He shouted fruitlessly, and after Mat's da muttered a few imprecations to settle down, he leaned over one last time. "There are others! Watch over them!"

Abell Cauthon shook his head. "Perrin, would you like to come up and settle Cenn's mind for us?" Most of the crowd laughed. A few were looking around, and Egwene thought she heard the words "Aes Sedai?" a few times, through the din.

Galad took hold of her bicep, and she found herself turning toward a rolling gap in the crowd. Perrin, with a very uncomfortable expression, was approaching the pavilion.

So was Moiraine.

They took the steps. Abell offered Perrin a "You all right, lad?", but the burly boy shook his head. He took the microphone like it was a writhing viper, and glanced nervously over to Moiraine.

"I -" There was still laughter in the crowd, but the not-quite-hush of murmured words was starting to take over. Perrin cleared his throat. "I am actually leaving. For a while. I don't want to lie about it, but it isn't any of Mister Buie's business. And I'm sorry he ... heard something he didn't understand."

And then nobody was laughing. Perrin hung his head, and Moiraine approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I can tell them," she said, and as usual what emotion her voice suggested was absent from her face. Letting go of Egwene, Galad stood at attention, as if he wanted to move closer, to be prepared if his aunt needed defense, but she seemed to spot him and, even at that distance, tell him with a look to hold off. Egwene shivered at the quiet, at the last quiet word she thought Moiraine added to her sentence. "Some."

She raised the microphone and spoke.

"Manetheren was not born to be a cage to its people, but what have you made of it? Are your young men and women to never leave, even if their roots to home cost them their lives?

"Last night your town was attacked, by land and by air, by foes your land has not seen for centuries; the forces of the Shadow. Aemon's Field, spared bloodshed itself almost since the days of its namesake king, had a knife to its throat. But you defended, and you survived. It might have gone differently."

The crowd roared for a moment, and a minor scuffle by the stage may have had something to do with it; the microphone failed. Moiraine simply set it down at her feet, then stood again, her voice still amplified. _Her power. _Saidar_._

"I am Aes Sedai, as your townsman proclaimed. And as I could, I sought to defend you last night. I used _saidar_, which you reject, but with it I helped you repel and destroy attackers who truly deserve your fury. The grudge of Manetheren against Tar Valon in not older than the grudge we share against the Dark; and if the Shadow has selected your sons as targets, will you truly refuse them the protection Tar Valon might provide?"

It wasn't a shout, exactly, but the pieces of several shouts which assembled into the obvious questions. "What do you mean, our boys are targets?" And "What do they want with Perrin, with our boys?" Abell Cauthon, somehow joined by Daise Congar of all people, had stepped to Perrin himself. They seemed to alternate asking questions too fast for him to answer with a lecture too steady to resist, and then Daise rounded on Moiraine.

Galad took Egwene's elbow again, hauling her toward the pavilion even as she saw Perrin step between the two women, saying little himself but giving Moiraine space out of Daise's reach just in case. Galad pressed himself up to the stage, bolting to his aunt; Egwene hesitated, but followed, if not as gracefully as she'd have liked.

"You _will_ be leaving," Daise Congar was saying. "Tonight. Before the bonfire burns out."

"I will. Now -" Moiraine had not looked at Galad, but she gripped his arm. Egwene, tense enough already, jumped when Perrin leaned over her shoulder - _how does a guy the size of a black bear even sneak up on people in the first place?_ - and he gave her an apologetic look.

"She said you were coming with us -"

"I'm not really -" Egwene froze. _Did she tell him why?_ But she shook her head. "I'm staying."

"We have to go, though. Egwene. If Aemon's Field isn't safe until we leave it -" He wasn't pleading, exactly, but he was scared.

She shook her head again. "It's a little different for me." She checked the crowd nearby for her father, but only glimpsed him before she felt a press of cold metal into her hand. "Perrin?"

"She's going to leave right now, I think. If you change your mind, take my Oli, okay? And you can get to the city. We should be there until tomorrow afternoon, at least, to get Rand and Mat out."

"Rand and Mat?" Egwene's stomach sank like a stone. _Three targets. Of course. Perrin was just the luckiest._

"They're the others. Besides -" looking down to the crowd, he winced, and Egwene looked too. His family, his entire family, had gathered at the foot of the pavilion stairs. Galad was there, trying to hold them back with scattered words and gestures; it might have been funny if she hadn't turned back to see Perrin's heart breaking right across his face.

"You can tell them goodbye, at least," she murmured. Moiraine called him and Galad both, and Perrin gave her a one-armed hug, then stopped to look at his family - trickling onto the platform one by one. "I'll come back," he shouted, as much as he could shout and his voice still sounded strange in it. Even as he backed away and stood at Galad's side, he repeated it, quieter: "I'll come back."

With a slim flash of light, Moiraine's gateway opened, a pace above the ground at the pavilion's very edge. Through it there was only a glimpse of grey wall, and then three figures disappeared. Only one looked back, and Egwene slipped the keys to his van into her jacket pocket.

oioio

Within two minutes, she wished she had gone with them, as Abell Cauthon watched her suspiciously (he was the one at a festival when his only son was still in the hospital!), and half of the Aybara family asked questions she couldn't answer (while the half who had never talked to her anyway maintained their silence in a way that _still_ stung too much), and then the flutist started playing again - a cheery song, as though she thought she could erase the fiasco of the last few minutes through sheer denial (and of course Egwene's head was starting to hurt by then), but with the others she made her way off the stage. Past her father, with an "I'm going home. Good night." Passing her mother's stand, she found Elisa rolling up the purple and blue banner they always used. "Where's Mama?"

Elisa shook her head. "Unbelievable. She just went out there looking for you."

"Well, will you tell her I'm going home?"

Elisa gave her a _too much to ask for some help, then?_ look, but turned to stow the banner in a bag. "Sure. Good night."

"Night, Elisa." Egwene found herself hesitating, looking at her sister's face like it wasn't quite a part of the real world anymore, but borrowed from a painting of some old monarch, whose fur-lined cape had fallen off and whose crown had faded away completely. She felt dizzy. She didn't go home.

oioio

Two hours later, she sat in the driver's seat of Perrin's light blue Oliphant, but she didn't start it. Still.

She'd slipped through back alleys all around the green, even having a few short chats when someone saw her. They weren't horrible chats, mostly because she wasn't really there for them. There was too much else in her head to pay attention, really. Sitting in the relative quiet and absolute dark of the Luhhans' shop garage, she finally felt like she had time to sort it out.

_Perrin didn't understand. I don't really have to leave._

_You don't really want to stay. If your life is in danger anyway._

_It's different. Maybe she's lying about you. Maybe Aes Sedai can lie now, after all._

_But you don't wan*t her to be lying, do you?_

Two hours of that sort of slef-interrogation, between bouts of staring through the van's windshield and into the dark garage, until Egwene realised it must be almost midnight and shook herself awake. She jiggled the keys in her pocket, pulled them out, and felt for the ignition. Finding it, she paused, then just as impulsively tossed the keys onto the passenger seat, swung the door open, and jumped out. She leaned against the side of the van, wondering if she'd regret staying after all. _But I have at least_ some_ time, right? If things start ... happening, I can go then, and find out what I'm made of. When I have to._

When she was nearly outside, she heard footsteps - somebody running. She ducked back behind the wall the catch a glimpse, but the runner ducked into the garage. He dropped to his knees, panting, and looked around. A few breaths only.

At the faint sound of more measured footsteps, he started to his feet. His panicked face caught the moonlight, just briefly, and Egwene recognised their supplier Padan Fain just before he backed into the garage, ducking behind Perrin's van. Egwene flattened herself against the wall, trying to move further from the door frame quietly, but something jabbed her shoulder on the way and she hissed. Cold metal brushed her neck. The key rack?

The footsteps crossed the threshold, revealing Fain had two pursuers. Neither quite looked real; one wore a leathery mask of some kind, and the other just looked so ancient that his skin itself had turned papery.

The old man spoke. "We know you're in here, Fain. You're our man on the ground, aren't you? So we will _always_ find you. Come on out."

Silence. The masked man advanced into the garage, and the other spoke again. "We are not entirely unhappy with you, Fain, despite your mistakes. Perhaps you might explain them. Redeem yourself."

Egwene heard a shuffle of steps, and a yelp. The masked man hauled Fain out from behind the Oliphant, twisting the supplier's arm behind his back. Fain winced and whimpered, pushed face to face with the elderly man.

Who was only more terrifying when his shadowed face grinned. "I lost a lot of my pets last night, you know. And Balthamel was very upset to see his eagles miss their prey. So close, we came, only to fail."

"Aginor ..." Fain gasped as the man called Balthamel lifted him off his feet. Unnerving silence fell.

Egwene shut her eyes briefly, tried not to breathe. Balthamel. Aginor. _Bad men, yes, but they can't really be two of the Forsaken. The Forsaken are sealed away in the heart of the Blight._

Then she saw Fain's mouth open in a silent scream, and his entire body spasmed. She heard nothing as the man he'd called Aginor raised a red, glowing hand to Fain's mouth, letting it hover mere inches away as Fain began to frantically speak. Shout. At a halt, the red fingers heated to yellow, as Balthamel pried their victim's jaw open with leather-gloved fingers and Aginor caught Fain's tongue in a pinch grip. And she realised that, Forsaken or just delusional, these men were _channeling_, must be channeling both to interrogate him and to keep what they had pried out of him under wraps.

Her head spun. _Male channelers. How do I get _out_ of here now?_ If she couldn't hear them, did it mean they wouldn't hear her? She took a very small step, only to cringe at a jingle of metal as something caught her hair. She froze, reached up to disentangle herself, and felt a very familiar shape. A key.

Which fell off the rack, and which she scrambled to catch. She glanced back at the garage, at the three men she couldn't hear and didn't want to see in the middle of a mostly empty garage. _Mostly empty._ She ran a careful thumb across the key in her hand. _Light, let them be distracted enough. A_nd she moved, spinning on her heel the moment she felt wind through the open port; she considered looking back, but didn't dare. A black car remained in the lot. _Is that a Misericorde? Weren't the Luhhans talking earlier about -_ She thought she heard a low shout Not good. _This has to be the right key. It has to._

She got the door open, somehow, almost fumbling the key as she got in. _Find the ignition, come on, hurry._ She couldn't hear anything, either because of the car's soundproofing or her own ridiculously racing heart, but as she finally got the key in place she told herself she'd just get away from the centre of town. The Cauthons' place, maybe, or the al'Thors'. The second she knew how to sneak into, if Rand's father was still laid up in the city's hospital.

It was a strange kind of clarity that settled over her as she took off down the alley, as she checked the side mirror for any shapes bursting out of the garage with fire in their hands (or whatever a mad channeler would do to stop her), and as she skidded out of the first turn she could take, through one of the light barriers the Council always put up to stop traffic around the green on festival days, and finally remembered to get her lapbelt on as the fear of what she'd seen in the garage turned into a trepidation laced with awe: justifications aside, she had stolen a car.

To get away from two of the Forsaken.

When she passed the old silo that marked the northern edge of town, she was still checking the road behind her, still seeing shadowy figures that couldn't be men, couldn't be real. She pushed the accelerator pedal to the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Despite the floor desk's insistence that visitors weren't allowed this early in the morning in any section, but especially where the burn patients stayed, she saw Moiraine and Galad emerge from a room down the hall mere moments after she asked. The Aes Sedai spotted her at the same time, but under the clerks' watchful eyes, she waited for them to reach her.

"How is - how are they?"

"Rand is recovering. I will be checking on Matrim in time, but - Galad, you must be hungry. Take Egwene to that eatery we passed, if you'd like." The Aes Sedai finally took her inscrutable and incisive focus off of Egwene, which reminded her to breathe again. She still felt dizzy when she did._ It's because you didn't sleep all night Get over it._

Galad looked less hungry than irritated, and led her back to the elevator she'd just left without a word.

The moment the doors closed, she started her questions. Not in the order she'd planned, though. "Did she just go straight back to Rand's room?"

Galad looked back, and up, as he nodded.

"Is he really okay?"

"His father was worse off. Healing isn't -" Galad stopped himself. "There are - women in my aunt's circles who specialise in it, but she isn't one."

Egwene froze. "He was burned that badly?"

Galad looked up again. "His head hit the ground in the blast, probably."

Egwene shivered, then shivered again. She reached for the handrail just as the elevator jarred to a stop. "But she can help him?"

"Come on."

The eatery, The Grain Break, was just a block over from the hospital, which explained its all-night hours. It served flapjacks, mostly; flat and small with fruit jellies, or rolled up around sweet cheeses. They sat by the window and ate quietly, at first. Egwene stared outside, watching the quiet street under its blue-tinted lights. Just before a bite, a question struck her. "You passed this place? I thought Moir - well, the way you came -"

Galad, who had ordered a single rolled 'jack and then missed the whole point of rolling it by refusing to eat with his hands, set down his fork. "Traveling has limits. She wouldn't know where to open a gateway safely in the middle of this city, even if there weren't the particular risk of unfriendly witnesses to ... " He looked at his food, then at her. Not tired, maybe, but weary. "We had to walk from the green belt, on the river's bank."

Egwene felt very warm. _Are you staring? Stop staring at him._ She remembered the teapot in front of her, filled a cup - overfilled it, just a little - then tried to take a careful sip, but then she couldn't stop and drank everything that hadn't sloshed over her hand first. The room spun. At least she was sitting down.

"Egwene?" Galad pushed back his chair, but Egwene held up a hand, tilting her head forward.

_What's that kind of tea Nynaeve said helped dizziness? I hope it was just tea and some useless flavour she added to make it sound more medicinal._ "I'm just dizzy. And warm." Was Galad standing up? "Hot tea is good for that, actually, it promotes sweating." _Right?_

The silence was back, but by the time she felt enough better to be embarrassed they'd finished their breakfast, and he said they might try going back now. In the predawn, the city's lights seemed a little colder; at least the breeze was fresh and chilly on her forehead. _Why did I come here?_ It had seemed so exciting when she left Aemon's Field: an unsanctioned but completely justifiable midnight escape to the big city, where she would find out more about - everything and anything - before she had the chance to leave home and go even further, learn even more.

She stumbled on a loose paving block.

"Careful," Galad said, stopping a few steps ahead of her to turn around. _Why do people say that? Is it so hard to ask "are you all right" instead?_ "Are you all right?"

"Fine." She caught up to him. "Is it safe to go back yet?"

He sent her an odd look. "She knows we're coming."

Egwene shook her head. "No, I meant - wait, how does she know we're coming?"

"Later."

"But can I actually see - well, anyone, yet? The clerks wouldn't let me in, before." She took a breath. "And I should probably call my family before much longer." _Before they start looking for me._

"Isn't it a little early in the morning for that?"

She sent him a level look. "We run a hotel."

"Right." He ran a hand through his hair - funny, how much it reminded her of Rand right then - then pulled his little portable phone out and proffered it. "Here."

"It's okay. I think there was a phone bank by the main doors." She didn't want to admit she'd never used a portable before.

"Right."

It did take her a minute to remember the front desk number. She wasn't surprised when Loise answered. "The Winespring Hotel."

"Hi, Loise, it's Egwene. I wa -"

"Egwene? Why, in the bloody name of the Creator, are you at a hospital? Is something wrong?"

"No! I mean, I came up to see, you know, Rand and his da and Mat -" she looked over her shoulder to see Galad standing a few feet away, like a guard. "But the thing is -"

"How did you even get there?"

She winced. "It's complicated, but I needed to say ... " She took a deep breath. Still dizzy. "I might be gone for a while. More than - today. And I need you to tell Mama and Da so they won't -"

"What do you mean, you'll be in the City of _for a while? W_eeks? What are you going to be doing there?" Loise didn't get livid nearly as often as the rest of their sisters, but when she did she did it very, very well. "You can't just take off for the city like that."

"Alene did."

"When she was twenty-two, Egwene! And she wasn't squirrelly about her plans when she did, and she _warned_ us. You're only sixteen -"

"Loise, will you please just let them know? I'll call again soon -" maybe she would - "and I'll explain everything I can."

"Egwene -"

"Will you?"

"Should I just take a _message_ for our establishment's proprietors for you, _ma'am_?!"

"Loise -"

"You know exactly how unhappy they'll be to hear this. From me. So thanks."

"Lo, I'm sorry."

"Just don't act surprised when the shuttle pulls up at the hospital for you, okay? And if someone jumps out to put a sack over your head and haul you back physically, that'll be me."

"Look, I'm sorry -"

"Bye, Eggs." Loise hung up in an incredibly percussive way.

_So that didn't go especially well._ Egwene turned back, and jumped - Galad was standing several feet closer than before. He actually looked ashamed, and muttered something about "your Cairhienin side" as he stepped back.

Egwene couldn't suppress a smile. "Let's go back upstairs."

They passed the directory desk, and she halted at the sound of Rand's name. Well, nearly the right sound - the woman saying it seemed to trip over the "th" sound in _al'Thor_, and added a vowel at the end. Egwene caught Galad's arm to stop him, too.

"Visiting hours begin in just over an hour, ma'am, in that section. If you wish to wait here -"

The woman didn't answer, merely spun on her heel and headed for the exit. _Wait. That face._ She pulled Galad around to face her. "I saw that woman before - at Bel Tine, on the green." He raised his eyebrows, and she pulled him toward the entrance, wondering if being quiet here was even necessary. _Who is she?_

Two men stopped the woman at the door. Catching Galad's eye, she pulled him toward the fake fireplace, which looked like it would be close enough for eavesdropping. _Which is wrong, of course. But something about all three of them looked wrong, too._ She settled into the nearest chair that didn't face the doors. Galad stayed standing, facing the false flames when he wasn't glancing back at her quizzically.

One of the men was speaking with a raspy voice. "Hurt as you must be not to have received an invitation, I must say -"

"Who is to say I didn't?" Her accent made the words sound lofty; her tone made them threatening. "He has assembled enough footmen for his needs, clearly. Have his plans held just as clumsy as always?"

The same man answered. "His information is the best, as much as that may rankle you to know. He watched the dreams of the world for three thousand years while you - slept like a babe, I imagine? Alone among us, he had the chance to -"

"He wasted it, whatever his chances," the woman cut in. "And you cannot be surprised that I won't have him waste more with his foolishness."

Galad leaned over to tap Egwene's arm. "_Now_ we need to get upstairs." She meant to argue, but he leaned in closer. "There are Shadowspawn nearby. If my aunt doesn't know yet, she needs to."

With that, Egwene followed, wide-eyed. "You mean there are more Trollocs? Here?"

He gestured for her to lower her voice, and punched the elevator call panel. "Nearby. And a few Myrddraal - I think you were mostly spared those in your village." He pulled her into the elevator. "Why don't they even have stairs in this building? I know -"

Egwene waved a hand in his face, stopping his rant. "You saw Trollocs? Where? We should tell the -"

"I sensed them. They're still a few streets away - or alleys, I guess - and there can't be more than twenty yet -" he stopped short and stared at her.

"You sense - Shadowspawn? You, personally, can -"

The elevator arrived, and they emerged at a half-run. And stopped when they saw Moiraine mere feet beyond.

"What happened?" She paused to wave a hand over Egwene's head - it made her shiver - before leading them away from the elevator bank. Galad leaned over mid-stride, whispering in the Aes Sedai's ear; though whatever he conveyed didn't change her expression, she did put a hand on his arm in a comforting gesture. She waved Egwene to silence, and led them past the clerks and down the hall.

"We could have used another ten minutes. Or more pliable young men," she murmured, giving Egwene a bland look -_ as if it's my fault Rand is stubborn?_ "But we'll get out." That last was for Galad, who seemed about to speak - but then they were in a patient room, and he was nudging Egwene out of the way so he could close the door.

Silent as it was from outside, she really hadn't expected the room to be so crowded.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The silence stopped abruptly at the threshold. She heard Mat first. "She doesn't exactly have to restrain you, Mister -" he cut off as he realised who had entered. Egwene wasn't surprised to see him leaning against the wall like he might a broad tree on a summer walk through the woods, as if to spite the crutches propping him up. She _was_ surprised at the way he hung his head when Moiraine entered, then looked at the back of Rand's head almost pleadingly.

"I take it your father is not so amenable to our agreement, Rand?" Finally, Moiraine's tone wasn't lofty. Indeed, she stepped over to Tam al'Thor's bed - _so it was his room here all along_ - with a genuinely kind expression. "Tam, your son has been very honourable in his care for you. I hope that he has explained whatever duress affected his decision was only the same concern we all share for his safety and for his friends'." She swept a hand in his direction, where he sat by his father's bed; then toward Mat, and Perrin who had vanished into the corner as best he could. Then the Aes Sedai walked around the bed and placed that hand on Rand's shoulder. "You must believe that he will be safer in Tar Valon. And I will not prevent him from contacting you, nor any of the others from their families."

Tam al'Thor - once Egwene could take her eyes off of the boys, and then Moiraine - looked terrible. Half of his head was bandaged, and the other half was bruised; his left arm was swathed in a chilled wrap, and his right was spiked with stitches. Egwene checked Rand again, only to see no sign of injuries. _Did she - heal him?_

Tam was speaking, then, if slowly. "I appreciate - what you have done, Aes Sedai. And I have been close enough to Tar Valon to see how its walls protect." He breathed, deeply, closing his eyes. "I didn't ask to keep my son here. I asked to follow him."

"You can't move yet." Mat seemed ready to go on, but Moiraine cut in.

"I did what I could for you, but you still need to recover." She paused. "If, after recovering, you chose to follow us, I would discourage it, but I wouldn't stop you." Then, as though she'd ceased to see Tam at all, she stood upright and took in the three younger men. "We will have to leave sooner than we expected, unfortunately. If -"

Galad had started away from the door. "They must be -"

They were cut off at the same moment by a hideous, screeching alarm. Rand jumped out of his chair, knocking it over, as Perrin pushed out of his corner and Mat shouted, "What _is_ that?"

"This is goodbye, I'm afraid," Moiraine said, loudly enough to be heard even without shouting. She looked around the room, then continued, clipped: "Follow me."

How they stayed together in the corridor, Egwene wasn't sure; while it wasn't crowded, everyone else was moving at double normal speed, and the strangers' very shouts seemed to take up space: "It's a lockdown." "Get the generators up, just in case." "The guard wounded out there -"  
They all wanted to hurry; Mat even dropped his crutches, suggesting that the lattice which still made his steps clumsy had been rendered redundant by the Aes Sedai's healing sometime before. Moiraine herself, somehow, led them all through the din of desperation, to a staff cargo elevator. She placed a hand over the lock, and winced slightly, but it opened and they filtered in.

"Where are we going?" Rand gasped, as though he'd just run to catch up to the rest of them before anyone could notice.

"The parking garage," Moiraine answered. "From there, I can make a gateway -"

"Why can't she do it from here?" Mat mumbled. "It's not like anyone can see us. It."

Egwene, having seen more gateways than she'd have liked in the past day already, leaned over to answer. "I don't think this elevator's big enough. Not with all of us in it."

"It's also moving," Galad added, then blinked like he hadn't meant to say it. "What I meant was, gateways have a lot of restrictions that-"

"Everybody off," Moiraine said, a little too mildly. The three of them realised that she, Rand, and Perrin were already stepping through the door, onto the white-paved loading dock in the dim hospital garage.

The alarms had faded, but never gone silent; their echoes seemed to swell and diminish as they all walked down a ramp, into the garage's lowest depths, and Egwene could have sworn that the lights overhead flickered in counterpoint to the sound. Something nagged at her

"From here?" Galad asked.

Moiraine nodded. "From the blue pillar. It should be -" She frowned.

"Where that black car is?" Mat asked, and Egwene realised what that foreboding had been._ I hid the Misericorde there. Why did I choose that spot -_

"Does the gateway have to be exactly there?" Galad didn't sound hopeful; almost automatically, Egwene was pulling something out of her pocket.

"It's okay," she was saying. "I can move it a little." If they were in such a rush, surely she could explain later? But everyone's head turned, and the first glances felt like stares. "I didn't know that -"

At a warped but increasing roar, she looked around. _It's just a car. Those might come here sometimes_. She wanted to laugh. As she moved toward the Misericorde, though, Moiraine was raising open hands, bracing herself for something; Galad, who said something reassuring just too softly to catch, had still pulled a bundle of rods out of his coat pocket and untied the ribbon around them.

_Who do they think it is?_ The dark burgundy shape that approached looked faintly familiar to Egwene even before it skidded - even from an almost-safe crawl, it skidded - to a halt in front of them. The passenger door opened, but the figure rounding the car was stopped at the last moment by the driver's door, which nearly caught him in the face. The driver tumbled out already shouting.

"What are all of you doing here?" Nynaeve al'Meara, Egwene remembered, always parked on the lowest levels of the garage - or so she'd said, when she had been training at the hospital and let Egwene come along, the first week Berowyn's husband was sick. Probably, the reason Egwene had parked there in the first place, and probably the reason their town's resident physician was watching her in particular now.

She almost didn't notice the passenger's quiet steps in her direction. When he reached for her left hand, though, she looked up.

"You took his car, Egwene? His car?" Mat had broken the silence, finally. The others stomped on its remains.

"If you will return my keys now, and will -"

"Mister Andra, the Luhhans didn't -"

"Weren't we to be getting out now*?"

"Egwene," Moiraine broke in, through a sudden silence that could have been happenstance. Maybe. "If you would return the man's keys, and let him be on his way, we might -"

And then Galad jumped out from her side, saying "They're just above us!" as he rolled those rods from before between his palms. Turning away from the almost-returned car, and the group as a whole, the Aes Sedai and her nephew ran across the dim level to a sloped wall that separated them from the next-highest deck, then stood at the base. Without thinking, Egwene took a step to follow; she didn't have to step around Andra, because he'd already started, and a few pair of footsteps behind her might have belonged to any of the others; Rand, with his ridiculously long stride, was at her elbow when Galad's "they" started flowing over the wall.

Perrin, who gasped now, had been right: they looked like the Trollocs in books, in large part because they didn't. They were humans but built wrong, with rams' horns and wolves' teeth and the sound of hooves ringing out on concrete just as often as the slap of boots.

Just as quickly, some had what looked like metal feathers lodged in their faces and throats, and some were on fire, and some were screaming (or caterwauling, or growling) at injuries from both attacks. More Trollocs came down, and more went down in flames. And then, as the next group were ready to descend, a thick cord of white light swept out through the gap at the top of the wall, well over the humans' heads but right through the throats and the hearts of the leaping Trollocs.

A rope dropped, and a woman in a short, white dress slid down it - far from expert, but she landed pretty well, considering. She turned to face them with something more than confidence - _regality_, Egwene thought, although she'd never seen any royalty and probably never would. _If it's not a word, and it doesn't fit here and now - well, neither does she._

Nobody moved, but the Aes Sedai spoke. "Balefire." It wasn't a question.

"A shield?" the woman asked in return, and it broke the spell a bit: enough, anyway, for Egwene to realise it was the same woman, from Aemon's Field and from the entrance lobby, and that she must be Aes Sedai. Of course. "I believe I have assisted you, here. And that boy -" she gestured to Rand, smiling without a hint of fondness - "he and his friend with the spark in her, would not remember that they have met me." She looked around, but only faintly, at everyone - then shook her head, looking back at Rand. "You have recovered well enough."

And then she turned back to the wall, throwing light at jagged beast-men and half-solid shadows. Turned back to Moiraine. "Had you tried to Travel here? I suppose your hunters wanted you trapped. I would prefer that method; though the Myrddraal might have dodged an illusion gate, Aginor must have foreseen that threat to his pets." She laughed. "The union of two places into one. Everything changes then." The woman looked at Rand again, and hard. "I wonder what *he* did, to stop our Traveling."

Rand was probably too horrified to answer, but a voice from behind the wall did. "Wonder away." It didn't ring out; it rasped loudly, like a piece of paper crushed by her ear. "I might have told you what he told us, if you were not so determined to interfere with our every move."

Egwene hadn't heard much of the man's voice before, but she knew it all the same. The woman in white was answering, but not in a language Egwene knew; _so she_ is _foreign_. The foreigner - could she be Sharan? Seanchan spoke something more like Common than that, right? - seemed to seep, not step, closer to Rand with every word.

As the old man - as Aginor talked back, Egwene almost jumped at a touch on her arm, but it was Galad who leaned in to whisper. "Where is the third? Can you see?" _The third - from the lobby this morning_. She shook her head, not looking back. "Do you think we -?" He didn't finish. She didn't care.

"They're Forsaken."

"What?"

Egwene couldn't repeat it before a man who wore not just a leathery mask or gloves, but an entire second skin, jumped over the wall and landed, facing them, and released a sad, sickening cackle as he launched a wedge of concrete - glowing as if white-hot - not at Rand or the woman in white directly. At the pillar behind them.

When it shattered, the pieces flew around them in an unnatural, beautiful bubble; the woman at once moved closer to Rand and raised - a wind - that sent the chunks of stone back at the leather-suited man.

They piled at his feet even as he himself backed up against the wall. Beside him, another man appeared - or not a man, a wraith, really, with flame in place of his eyes.

"Ishamael," someone murmured. Mister Andra, who had joined Egwene next to his car. "The Betrayer of Hope. Won't this be interesting. Keep watch." He - of all things - pried open the driver's-side door and reached under the seat. "Has your Cairhienin friend aimed a pressure missile before? I don't suppose you locals have had call to." He passed her a wide rod, heavier on one end, one of three he had retrieved. "That isn't the best, but it might serve to distract them." He nodded back to the fight - to what had been a fight, but now appeared to involve simple standing and staring. And a fire-eyed man. "It may give the other Aes Sedai an edge." He set one rod - a pressure missile? - on the ground, and braced the other on the Misericorde's roof. Watching, for some opening.

Egwene could only shake her head. "The other -?" But she must be, right._ I don't even know her name. What does she want with us? What could _any_ of them want?_

But she lifted the rod experimentally and stepped forward, only to be frozen in place. The weapon was wrenched out of her hands, and flew into Aginor's hands. She hadn't even seen him come out - or down - but he had certainly seen her.

"Barbarians," he scoffed. "Who cannot help but interfere. Perhaps you have found the right company, Mi -" slammed against the wall, he coughed, then laughed. The same sound; only his face changed.

"You never did respect the search for alternatives, did you? The same toys as before - did you think it wouldn't fail?"

The wraithlike man placed a hand on the shoulder of each of his companions. And with a voice that did more than project, that filled the space like a loudspeaker's warning message, he said, "This was only ever a test. And you helped us greatly." He dissolved, and the others dematerialised. The woman in white stared after him, contempt and bitterness seeming to light her face and the very air around her. "All of you ought to depart. Gateways will still fail here, and you will need time. I ... have a territory to defend." She turned, looking back at the shattered pillar, at the boys who stood hesitantly by it now - though Mat stepped around Rand, opening his mouth only to be cut off by her laugh. "You will all want to move. Fast." She closed her eyes, and then she no longer stood where she had been.

In moments, Moiraine spoke. Why had she been so silent. "She - who is not Aes Sedai, Mister Andra - was truthful enough on one point. I can't open a gateway here."

"What was all of that?" Mat burst out. Perrin nodded; Rand looked frozen in place.

"The Forsaken - some of them - are walking the world," Moiraine answered. "And while that woman is - perhaps not to be trusted wholeheartedly, we will want to be leaving."

"Not to be trusted, hmm?" Nynaeve stepped out from behind a pillar; Egwene was more than a bit surprised to see that she was carrying a fire extinguisher. "She did well enough defending you. And as far as trust -"

"Why do you have a fire extinguisher?" Mat interrupted.

"It seemed like it might be useful, considering. A distraction, at least."

"Will we be walking out of here, or would you be willing to help us now as well?" Moiraine's question narrowly missed being an interruption, but Nynaeve still looked at her as if it had been. Unfazed, the Aes Sedai continued. "We might, between your vehicle and Mister Andra's, reach a safe destination rather faster, and continue this discussion on the way."

Andra, who had kept hiis door open all along and was now leaning on it, stood upright. "Do you imagine you'll have more Shadowspawn to contend with soon, Aes Sedai?"

Moiraine looked at Galad, who shook his head and answered, "Not too soon. But your help would be appreciated." He looked at Nynaeve. "Yours as well." And back to Andra. "Please?"

The older man shook his head. "I oppose the Shadow. I might suggest, though -" he hesitated.

Moiraine stepped toward the boys, still by the broken pillar; a jagged bit of concrete skittered away from her foot. "Perrin, Rand, and Mat should go with you." She looked back at his car. "Galad, will the two of you exchange numbers?" He gave her a strange look, but obeyed. "And he will come with us, Egwene, whether that is on foot or with the physician's assistance." The Aes Sedai kept her focus on Egwene - _what does she expect me to do? Beg?_ - while behind her she heard the Misericorde's doors open and shut, its engine start.

It swerved around them, and the rubble, then disappeared around the curve into the upper levels.

And, embarrassed even before she started, Egwene begged.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Nynaeve, please take us with you. You were here to check on them anyway, right? And you saw what just happened. We need your help to get -" Egwene didn't exactly wish she'd had more practice begging, but she knew she wasn't doing it very well, and experience _might _have helped. Just a little. "Besides, we hardly know that man who just drove off with them, don't you want to catch up and make sure -"

"Why _did_ you trust him?" Nynaeve cut in, looking at Moiraine. "He could take them anywhere - straight back to Aemon's Field, even, to be shot of the whole problem. If he's wise."

Moiraine only took a step toward the physician, but looked at her nephew instead. "Galad, did you notice the large ring he wore - when you exchanged information, perhaps?" Finally, then, she looked at Nynaeve, who didn't have time to hide her puzzlement. "It may have been a bit warm, but he wouldn't have noticed. He is going, at present, exactly where Galad asked him to. Though I would like to move on faster, if there's any chance -"

Nynaeve moved a bit like a tornado - furious, but weaving to dodge debris on the floor - to open her car door. "Egwene, come on. You get the passenger's." And then she looked back at Moiraine. "I suppose you'll direct me? Between explanations, of course."

Egwene all but ran to take her seat, but regretted it a little when she saw Nynaeve's face.

"Why are those things - and those madmen - after the boys?" She asked it quietly, and Egwene wished she had an answer. Nynaeve probably didn't see her shrug, though, as both back doors opened; she started the car the moment Moiraine and Galad sat down, making them hasten to shut the doors.

"I'll tell them we're on the way when I have reception," Galad murmured.

"Tell me where we're going, first." Nynaeve swung her car widely around the damaged pillar, then between a few of its undamaged neighbours, before he answered.

"There's a grove by the river at the edge of the city, with a broken statue wedged in -"

"That isn't very far."

As they left the garage, Moiraine spoke again. "When had you seen Aginor and Balthamel before, Egwene? In the lobby?"

Egwene swung her head around, staring._ When did she hear? Didn't Galad_ - her fellow witness was apparently quite engaged with his portable phone. "They were disguised then, but it makes more sense - well, they weren't disguised the first time, but -"

Nynaeve stopped the car; then, she was actually at a stop crossing. Still, she looked at Egwene. "The first time? They aren't actually two of - the Forsaken, are they?" The last seemed to be for Moiraine. Someone shouted outside; Nynaeve got the car moving again.

"If they were not, they would still be male channelers who claimed Forsaken names," Moiraine answered mildly. "But yes, I believe they are. And Egwene, you have seen them at least three times?"

She shuddered. "They were - questioning someone, I think, after I left Bel Tine. I don't think they saw me, but I saw them -" in a rush of confession, she explained what she had heard that night, and what she'd seen but couldn't hear; and how, when she took the car, she just meant to find somewhere to hide.

"_You_ took Andra's car?" Nynaeve interrupted, then shook her head. "I guess it had to be you, but Egwene -"

"I was running from Forsaken!"

Galad interjected. "Okay, we might have to take this on foot from -"

"The foot of the broken statue abuts the road," Nynaeve answered. "Just not from the river's edge, it being a river and such." Indeed, she took a sweeping curve in the road away from the trees.

"This isn't the way the others went," Moiraine reported.

"Then they're probably still lost. Can you call them - what's your name again, Gerold?"

Galad didn't correct her, just toyed with his phone again. "Can it wait until we get there?"

"I was led to believe time was essential to Rand, Perrin, and Mat's safety, but -" she trailed off, as their road curved sharply back into the greenbelt's edge.

"They are at least safe enough while they stay in -" Bells rang out, then stopped, and Galad's hand appeared at Egwene's shoulder, holding the phone in range as he said, unprompted, "We're close now, or supposed to be."

"We -" there was a pause, and fumbling. Then that voice, more quietly, said "Tap the blue square."

Mat answered with, "I can read." And then his voice was louder. "We're circling back from outside the belt, you guys, since -"

"I hoped to lose anyone who might be following us," Andra suggested.

A popping sound, like breathing on the receiver, and then Mat whispered, "That means he got lost."

Rand said something about "_your_ directions", but Perrin spoke up. "So you're all safe?"

"Of course we are," Nynaeve answered. "You three, however ... and we're here." And they were, pulling up to the jagged, pockmarked boulder that had lost all traces of artistry on this side, but when viewed from upslope still wore a face, if a damaged one. Nynaeve opened her door, kicked her feet out, then looked at Moiraine very deliberately. "Finish your call if you like. I'll be outside." And she stood, and stalked around the statue.

Egwene followed without thinking about it, over grass and bare stone, and rounded the monolith to see Nynaeve sitting on the low grey wall that might have been its base once. "Do you know why they chose this place?" Nynaeve asked, still not looking at her or at the statue.

"No." Egwene walked over. "I mean, aside from the isolation. Apparently it isn't safe to open a gateway just anywhere."

"Oh, no?" Now she looked at Egwene. "Why didn't the Aes Sedai send you with the boys?"

"I think that car is safer. Well, from what they're running from."

"And what are you running from?"

"I'm not." Why was she looking down now? She kicked a stone at her feet, just to delay looking back up. "Moiraine says I can use the - their power. _Saidar_. Or that I have used it, and now I have to learn how to use it or -"

The shock on Nynaeve's face had turned into sympathy. "Oh, _Eggs_. How long - when did it start? Has it been -"

Egwene shook her head. "Just once, in the fire ... right before Bel Tine. But is it true?"

Nynaeve stood up. "It might be. But - if you don't want to go, _don't_. There are other ways to -" Maybe Nynaeve saw something on her face then, because she turned back to the statue. "This was a statue of Eldrene, my father said. At the heart of the city, the first time they rebuilt it, because it was where she'd waited for word to join the battle." She went on more quietly. "Even after - we moved down to Aemon's Field, he still came up here. Sometimes."

An engine stopped, faintly, and voices drifted up from the slope by the road. Moiraine appeared first, and taking in Egwene, then Nynaeve, merely said, "I would ask you to move. Join the others." The others, it happened, were following Galad to the very edge of the river, facing the statue even as they kept up their chatting. Egwene started over, but Nynaeve didn't move.

"You need this exact spot? Why is that?"

"There are very particular rules to making a gateway. In this case, you are standing exactly where I brought Perrin from your village festival - by gateway - and so that spot is my only option for creating another, now. If you would -"

Nynaeve looked ready to say something else, but as she stepped forward unthinkingly, Moiraine took her chance. A slice of light appeared - _am I getting used to that sight?_ - but then froze. Nynaeve, who had spun to face it, backed away further. But Moiraine frowned.

"Why would Siuan lock you out now?" Galad asked.

"She might be -" Moiraine shook her head, and opened another sliver. This blossomed properly, and Mat half yelped in surprise - he, and Rand by his expression, must not have actually seen her make a gateway before.

"Sheriam," Moiraine called, sounding relieved. "Are you well?"

"Very well," the woman answered. _She must be Saldaean_, Egwene thought; but she hadn't seen many Saldaeans, really, and none with red hair. It was even redder than Rand's. "Should I assume they still have Siuan tied up in the briefing?"

"I couldn't reach her, at least. What briefing?"

Sheriam waved a hand. "Some new initiative of the Grays'. She told me to look out for you, but I can't say she warned me you'd bring so many guests, Moiraine. What is _happening_? If you can say it out there."

"Everything at once, it seems. Primarily, those three young men have drawn the eye of the Dark One, somehow; and some of the Forsaken have emerged into the world. Two showed themselves just this morning."

Sheriam sat upright at the second point. "Are you _certain_ of that, Moiraine?" Then she shook her head. "Of course you are. And they wanted those three? I thought you had gone off to -" Hands on the arms of her chair, she pushed to her feet. "Those three young men. Of course."

Then her voice vanished, and so did Moiraine's. Galad stepped closer to the gateway after a few words to Mat - why _Mat_? - though he looked back often enough from the bubble of silence.

Mat, peering through the gateway - and, Egwene thought, the window visible through it - said, "I thought we were going to _go_ to Tar Valon, not just look at it."

"Well, we don't know what - might be happening there, now." Perrin shrugged. "Maybe they've had attacks, too."

Andra snorted. "Nobody attacks a city full of Aes Sedai. If she's keeping you out, she has another reason."

"I suppose we're to stick around waiting for their leave, then?" Nynaeve had settled on the riverbank itself at some point, almost out of view of the gateway entirely. "I did want to check in on your father, Rand. And I haven't."

Rand was staring through the gateway, too, but noticed his own name at least. "Oh. He'll be all right. She heal- er, she helped him." He was still focusing on the gateway. "I've seen those on the news, you know, but it just looked like a round screen -"

"Rand, did you know that woman?" Egwene found herself asking. "The one in the white dress? She seemed to know you."

Nynaeve looked around. "The foreigner? I thought you recognised her, Egwene. She's the one who found you both after the fire."

Egwene wanted to answer that after the fire, she'd been unconscious, but a rush of freed sound from the statue interrupted her.

"- really recommend that you keep them out of this nest a bit longer." The red-haired Aes Sedai paused. "Oh, so you are considering it. I can hear the birds again."

Moiraine turned to face them, smiling slightly, but her eyes were heavy. "Due to certain recent events at the Tower, and based on what I could explain of what you have all contended with yourselves, Sheriam thinks the White Tower may not be the safest option for all of you. I won't be returning immediately, myself; you could stay with me -"

"Not all of them, surely?" Sheriam interrupted. "I said not all should come, but the girl would provide an excuse for at least one to take refuge here, even now. Another should stay with you, of course, Moiraine. The third - might the Borderlands provide the best protection, in this case?" She looked directly at Andra. "You're a man of the Scattered, aren't you? So you might know the best hiding place."

"I would have thought you'd have your own suggestion, Aes Sedai. Saldaea was troubled this spring, but it wasn't overrun."

Sheriam smiled. "I am of the Blue Ajah, not the Green, and Tar Valon is my home now. You might know their defences better than I, these days. Where were you headed, this spring?"

The northern man considered before answering, his face dark. "Shol Arbela," he said finally.

"Could you take on a companion?" Moiraine asked. "I admit this was no one's preference, but - Mat, you would pass through Tar Valon at least. And see more of the world yet. Mister Andra?"

"If the lad wants to come along, I can promise my protection." He didn't sound especially delighted by the idea; Mat, on the other hand, had put on his "charm" face, walked over to the older man, and thanked him - then thanked the red-haired Aes Sedai through the gateway, bowing for good measure.

"Rand, you will come with me and Galad -" Moiraine began, but Nynaeve was pushing to her feet and hurtling over within moments.

"So Egwene and Perrin are just to trot through to an unfamiliar city that isn't even safe enough for the rest? At least let them come back with me - or Egwene, if -" she turned to face the gateway, and fell silent when she met Sheriam's eyes.

"You won't be coming yourself?" The Aes Sedai sounded genuinely surprised. "Moiraine, handling it delicately is one thing, but were you really going to let this one get away? Another bargain, maybe?"

Moiraine answered quietly. "There were priorities at the moment, Sheriam. She has potential, but -"

"Potential? She's already channeling, and -" Sheriam stopped to look back at Nynaeve. "You don't look surprised." Then, looking around as someone murmured "_channeling_?", "Your friends certainly do."

Nynaeve spun on her heel, but stopped briefly by Egwene. "You won't come back?" Her face was very red, suddenly, and her voice a little rough. Egwene just shook her head. Nynaeve hugged her and whispered, "take care of Perrin." She must have said something to Galad - Egwene just heard Rand's name in it - but immediately after that, she vanished behind the statue.

"That was a no," Moiraine said dryly.

"That's a shame. Well, for the others - do you agree? All of you?"

Somehow, out of the storm of words and questions that ensued, Egwene got the distinct impression they did. Or near enough. Perrin was telling Mat that he really had better answer - and putting a card in his coat pocket - and then he was standing next to Egwene.

"Us first?" She had meant to just say it, not ask; she didn't like how her voice pitched up at the end. And someone was hugging her from behind - Mat. "Let Bode know what you're up to, okay? The envy will drive her _nuts_."

Egwene smiled. "I'll try." When she turned around - one last look at the rest of her friends, and at the river that flowed close enough to home to make her feel it belonged to her, or she to it - Rand was standing there, too. He just nodded at her, so she took a step herself. _Wherever that was going, if anywhere,_ she thought, _it's probably over._ She tossed her arms over his shoulders, around his neck._ Please be safe, Rand._ "I'll miss you."

"You, too," he said, but she thought she felt him let out a breath before she stepped back. "Perrin, take care, okay?" He looked at the gateway - it suddenly seemed so close - and backed away.

Perrin grabbed her hand. "Ready?"

Why did she feel like laughing? "Let's go." She looked at Moiraine one more time; her face was still impassive, but not unkind. "Goodbye. And thank you."

Then the Aes Sedai smiled. "Good luck."

They stepped through the gateway. She almost thought she felt it closing behind them; but maybe it was just the sound of the birds, and the familiar voices, disappearing so quickly into the distance that made her shiver like that.

The Aes Sedai came over to greet them, her stride brisk but her hands extended. "Welcome to the White Tower." She gestured toward the window. "And Tar Valon, the heart of the world."

**AN:  
**Thanks for the review, Worn Steel7! It's been an interesting mix to try.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Egwene didn't mean to be rude, but she probably was when she walked right past Sheriam to the window. Vaguely, she heard Perrin stumbling through thanks and hopes that he wouldn't be too much trouble.

She just couldn't stop looking at the city outside.

Tar Valon gleamed. Even with a gentle flow of foot traffic over paved roads, through a swarm of banners and unreadable signs -_how far above the ground_ are _we? How tall is this tower?_- the city played up the pale spring sunlight like - like water. The buildings curved like seashells, waves, and sails in a strong wind. It looked nothing like Manetheren's hard angles and abundant glass. Even the sky seemed different.

Sheriam appeared at her side. "It becomes familiar, but never dull."

Egwene felt her face heat up. "I'm sorry, I should have -" When she faced the Aes Sedai, she froze up. "I meant to say, thank you for your help -" Perrin, just behind Sheriam, was staring out at the city now. Egwene forced herself not to, but the Aes Sedai nodded toward the window again.

"Look your fill. We may need to wait on -" A chime sounded by the door. "Or we might not." Sheriam flicked her fingers, and a very small gateway appeared on her wall. "Siuan?"

Egwene recognised the woman with short, dark hair, though the bright blue stole over her shoulders was unfamiliar. "Sheriam -" and then she stopped, very abruptly. "I'm sorry, you have company?" She didn't sound particularly sorry, or look it. She looked - expectant.

Sheriam didn't seem to mind. "Moiraine couldn't reach you, and while I'm happy enough to help out -"

"Oh. One of the boys - only one?" Siuan shook her head. "Of course, as things are -"

"As things are? Siuan, you told me there was -" Sheriam stopped abruptly. "Where are you now? I don't recognise that painting."

Siuan laughed. "We don't generally meet in my bedchamber, no. Well, I'm glad you got the girl as well, at least." The woman settled her eyes on Egwene. "Welcome to the White Tower." And back to her colleague. "Will you be sending her to Moria's study?"

"Not tonight," Sheriam answered. "I might find a tour guide of some kind for these two, Siuan, and speak to you - in your office, of course - then?"

Again, Egwene noticed the woman through the gateway examining her - and Perrin, maybe even longer - with unnerving eyes that were almost the same shade as her stole. "Please do," was all she said before she disappeared.

oioio

The tower's hallways did not run straight, of course. They curved, sloping upward as Sheriam led them, their smooth walls covered with tapestries and banners as though to distract from their lack of windows. It reminded her of the hospital's parking complex a little too much; she focused on the floor, with its colourful tiles. _Surreal_, she kept thinking._ But what was I expecting?_

She only looked up when Perrin touched her arm; then she realised someone was calling out.

"Sheriam Sedai!" It was a woman's voice; Egwene did a double-take. What had looked like a pair of men, each hauling an armload of worn books, split as the younger of them trotted forward; as she approached, Egwene realised she was actually quite pretty. "The Keeper told me to catch you. Or your - companions." She looked at Egwene - and then, again, at Perrin just a little longer, and Egwene pushed down the way she felt _put out _over it - but then the woman nodded. "She wasn't, admittedly, specific."

Sheriam nodded. "As she didn't need to be, but Min, these two have just arrived at the White Tower." Egwene found herself stepping forward, hand extended; then she felt stupid, but the short-haired woman before her shifted her armload of books expertly, and shook Egwene's hand, then Perrin's, with a grin that held through their hasty introductions.

ioioi

"So, we start our tour -" Min smiled yet again, sweeping her hand over the path-carved greenery before them - "with the tower grounds. But you'll both be seeing them a lot, I suspect, and Egwene will see precious little outside of them, so let's take to the streets."

It was past midday, which seemed briefly bizarre - actually, her first thought had been that the island city itself was tilted - but she shook her head and tried to reorient herself. They'd left the tower's north side, apparently; one of the first things she noticed was a mountain on the leftward - _western_ - horizon. A single peak. "Is that Dragonmount?"

Min frowned at that, for some reason. "It is." And she took a deep breath. "I was thinking we could go south, work our way around that part of the city. Northharbor is further than South, but we could catch the tram if you want to start there instead and come back down, or -" she caught her breath.

"There's a tram?" Perrin ventured once he was sure of the silence. And then rushed on as Min looked his way. "I'd like to see that. If it's not out of the way."

Min shook her head. "There's a southern run, too."

They turned away from the grounds, which extended half a mile north of the White Tower; a green expanse, so shadowed from the early spring sun by the tower itself that the people on it - mostly so far she couldn't hear them - seemed like fragments of shadow themselves. She tried to look at the tower itself, but was too close to see much.

Just to say something, to join the faint hum of conversation and movement around her, she asked Min if she was from Tar Valon.

"Oh, no. I'm from Baerlon - west of Andor. Extreme west." Min fell into step, looking from Egwene to Perrin and back again. "Siuan said you're from the MAR? You sound enough like it."

"The MAR? Oh, right. We are" _Do I have an accent?_ Min didn't sound strange at all, come to think of it - a decent number of Winespring guests had been from Baerlon, over the years.

Perrin had looked harder at Min. "It's just Manetheren to us."

Min looked right back. "Hey, we've had our differences with the queens, too, over the years. No harm meant." She tilted her head. "But MAR is shorter."

oioio

The day passed in a blur, or maybe a blaze - Min led them through busy streets (mostly foot traffic; the absence of any car whatsoever might have been startling if there weren't so many _people_ around, and they did see the tram); past impossible and beautiful buildings that looked like ships, jumping fish, and even one that looked like a cat. Those were Ogier buildings, Min said; and led them to a grove on the southwestern side of the island, a stone-guarded riot of green against the city's white wall, which she said was the only grove the Ogier had left in this part of the world.

They saw a group at the edge of the grove, apparently in some kind of dispute. A group Min called the Tower Guard arrived, led by a woman in a silver dress, and she urged the two Aemon's Fielders away. "They'll handle it - she's Gray Ajah, it's what they do - but let's not gawk. I know a decent inn nearby."

Egwene meant to notice the name of the inn - it was so eastern, she thought, to have common rooms instead of eateries, inns instead of hotels - but she saw a flash of light at the nearest corner, seemingly sprouting from the centre of a stone platform three paces in the air. "What was -" was all she could get out before a slice of light parted the air. Five people appeared, then carefully descended the steps around the platform.

"Landings," Min said. "The light is a way to claim the spot, sort of, long enough to come through. Tram stops for Aes Sedai, really." Egwene stared - there was nothing left to stare at - until Min tugged her through the doorway.

They had tea, and heard bits of conversation nearby: someone talking about "zealots right out there," in a near-rage until her friend cut in to say "they should have tried the stripes in Eldone Market, those people could use an army or two," which made the woman laugh instead. Someone was served a fish he hadn't ordered and shouted to the staff to get the thing somewhere he didn't have to smell it.

Then someone said the words "false Dragon" into just enough of a lull that all other activity stopped.

"Did you hear that, innkeeper?" The shout came from a table of Guards - how many _were_ there in Tar Valon? "They caught the Andoran!"

"Ghealdanin," his friend corrected.

"Oh, I thought -" whatever he said next was lost to the crowd's buzz, but Min was tapping the table. Her face had paled.

"Sorry, they'll probably want me back sooner than later tonight. Before they have to put on their show." Min drained her glass - an ale at midday, which she'd said as a student of philosophy she could not only get away with but couldn't do without - and led them outside, back toward the white core of the city.

oioio

The false Dragon was named Logain, they heard on the way, and had been taken directly to a secure section of the White Tower itself. Not like the old days, one woman was saying. It used to be almost a parade, when she was young.

Min received her "summons" as she'd expected, when they reached the South Plaza. "They want me to see him before the trial at sunset."

"See him?" Egwene said, at the same time Perrin asked, "The trial?"

"Well, before the gentling." She started toward the tower - not particularly fast, but she moved. "It's more of an execution, with mercy as an excuse. But I probably wouldn't see as much tonight as I will if I get there now." And then she stopped, and put a hand over her mouth.

"Why would you want to see more of a false Dragon?" Perrin was saying, but Min started moving again. Faster. "Walk with me."

And she explained, maybe too fast, maybe to avoid saying more about the false Dragon she was going to see as she avoided looking at the Tower itself. Min wasn't just a philosophy student - in fact, she said, she'd come to Tar Valon "of all places" because she saw images. Glimpses of the future, or symbols; some she could understand, some she couldn't, but they had never failed to be true. Or so she said.

Egwene really liked Min, and didn't want to think she was crazy. _If I can use_ saidar, _why shouldn't _she_ see the future? _She couldn't speak for Perrin, but she believed what Min said. Enough.

Even if she said at the end that there was a silver leash over Egwene's head and a pair of birds on Perrin's shoulders.

Min told them she'd meet them in the dining hall for supper if she could, but she never showed up.

**AN:** Thanks for reviewing, Tremaile! And calling me on the _saidar_-Skype, which I just couldn't resist doing. I do have a plan (although we all know what they say about plans): it includes a few major changes to the storyline, but I'm trying to honour it or at least tip my hat wherever I can. The past is more than a little different from WoT, so the future's going to spin out differently too.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

That first afternoon, she had thought she loved Tar Valon on sight, but by the end of her first week she was too tired to think much of anything. At all.

An Accepted named Theodrin had found her in the dining hall with Perrin, when they were still waiting for Min. She'd told Perrin to find a man named Hammar, passing him a folded note; then she'd taken Egwene to see the Mistress of Novices. Moria Aes Sedai, had looked her over coolly. "She is another wilder, then, Theodrin?"

"Yes, Aes Sedai." Theodrin caught Egwene's eye, and her lips pursed in a silent _shh_.

The Aes Sedai, still seated at her desk, turned the book she had just written in around, waving for Egwene to approach. "Please sign by your name."

"Yes, Aes Sedai." Like so much in Tar Valon, both book and pen were old-fashioned: the pages were thick, and the first letter of Egwene's name came out too thick from an unwieldy pen. She tried not to smear the ink, but still saw some on her left hand as she stepped back from the desk, with Theodrin whispering a reminder to curtsy.

They gave her a dress - old-fashioned, white like Theodrin's but without the seven stripes on the sleeves and skirt the Accepted's had - and once she changed, Theodrin led her to watch her old clothes being burnt. A symbol of abandoning her old life, of dedicating herself to the White Tower; when she tried to sleep tht night, she kept seeing that fire.

Theodrin was sympathetic that week, but she also told Egwene she was lucky. "In a way, we wilders have an advantage here - most novices train bit by bit, very slowly and carefully so they won't harm themselves, and with _saidar_ mixed in with all of the other lessons, not emphasised."

"But I only ... channeled once, before."

"Technicalities. And you didn't have time to develop a block, which also helps. I think you got here at exactly the right time, Egwene."

She wasn't so sure of that. Aside from Theodrin's sessions - where she pictured apple blossoms on branches until her stomach growled (by the time she regretted her choice of flower, she was too used to them to switch), but only reached _saidar_ twice in the entire first week - she found that being a novice still mostly consisted of chores. Lessons, too - history back to the Breaking, which she liked, and learning to read the Old Tongue people spoke before the Breaking, which was a nightmare - but the chores were the worst. She knew how to do laundry, how to sweep her floor, how to wash pots; in theory, at least. She still got in trouble for slovenliness, for staring into space as she lost focus, for not working hard enough at all of these things the Tower could and should have done by machine like people in the _sane_ world did.

When she complained to Theodrin - she hadn't meant to, but she was so frustrated and so _tired_ - her mentor got very serious. And unsympathetic. "You know what it's really about, don't you?"

"Discouraging the weak?"

"Come on, Egwene, you're smarter than that." Theodrin rose from her armchair - Egwene stared longingly from her perch on a hard folding stool - and loomed over her. "It's the discipline, Egwene. They want you to learn to work hard and obey, sure, but most importantly they want you to pay full attention to everything you're doing, to every detail, before you get to the kind of channeling where a moment of inattention can _kill_ you."

She started sleeping long enough to dream again that night, but the dreams she had almost made her regret it.

oioio

Halfway through the first week, she noticed the other novices had perked up immensely, and wondered why. _It's not like they give us a weekend._

The Aes Sedai who was meant to give their lecture on history that morning seemed to be late, so Egwene took advantage - pretending to drop her pen, she whispered to the girl at her left. "What's everyone so excited about?"

The other novice barely looked at her, but maybe recognised her as new. She answered with one quiet word. "Letters."

Letter day came once a week, and in a way, it changed everything.

A small console tacked to the wall in her room came on - as, apparently, every other novice's did - just after supper. Theodrin had explained that afternoon that the Brown Ajah had learned the weaves to suppress electronics and set them over most of the Tower decades before. "But they'd always let even the novices send and get letters before, and by my last year as a novice they had to modernise. Thus the consoles."

Hers didn't recognise her name, and after five failed tries she wanted to cry; then she tried leaving the apostrophe out of her name. Egwene alVere _was_ allowed access.

_Egwene! I hope this gets to you. Thom (this friend Andra has who joined us in Whitebridge, which is a whole other story) said they have to pass messages along to you somehow, though in his day it was letters. (His moustache is so white, and big, it's really hilarious.) He won't say how he knows anything about it. So I hope this gets to you, and I hope Perrin's around still so you can tell him how to reach me._

_This road trip has been crazy. Actually, Andra is crazy, and since he's telling everyone I'm his "personal assistant" now I have to go along with it. We've stopped just a few places. (Baerlon is awful and sad, Egwene, never go. We tried to get out at the crack of dawn and they accused us of being smugglers. Great place to wake up in.) Whitebridge was full of Saldaens, and Thom of course. The bridge there is amazing, see it someday. (I should've taken a picture)_

_I hope you're okay. Thom was asking all kinds of crazy questions before, like if I was in a lot of danger from the drone or has anyone in my family been really lucky in a bad situation. I told him I'm pretty lucky when I make bets, and he called me uncultured again. Anyway, he's with us now._

_Andra told me not to say too much, like where we're headed or his real name (as if I could spell it). But GET BACK TO ME so I know you're alive. And write Bode since she probably misses you._

_Mat_

She had an eletter from Rand alThor, too.

_Egwene, _

_How are you? I'm sorry we didn't talk more before you left._

_We're visiting some of your recruiter's friends here. She spends a lot of time in their library. I have my own lessons, sort of (nothing like what she says you're dealing with), and there's a local a few years younger than me who comes around, too._

_I don't know how much else I can tell you._

_I don't like that._

She felt like she should tell them both everything, or nothing, or write to her family instead at the official hotel account and see who got it. But she didn't. She copied their addresses onto a scrap of paper, double-checked them, and went looking for Perrin.

She found Min first.

"Egwene! How are you holding up so far?"

"I'm - well -" she didn't feel like lying. Min could probably see a pillow above her head, or a mop or something, anyway. "I'm tired. Do you know where I could find Perrin right now? We have sort of a free hour now."

"Letter day. I've heard about it." She smiled, and pointed to the paper in Egwene's hand. "Is that for him?"

"It's some addresses -" Somehow, she felt like holding on to it longer. Like it was a talisman that would take her home if she said the right words. She stalled. "Have you seen him?" She realised she hadn't, at all. _It's only been a few days._

"I see him around, mostly during the day. They're really keeping you -" Min grimaced. "I was going to say at full power, but you know."

And Egwene laughed, inexplicably, and handed her the addresses. She didn't manage to write anything back, herself - nothing that she felt like sending. She tried, she started at least five different letters, but then the bells rang for Last and her console went dark again.

oioio

By the second week, she could touch the Source every day. Eventually.

It was getting harder to let go when she did.

She lit a candle, then put it out. Lit it again. Theodrin was impressed. "I'll have to take you somewhere with a fireplace, see what you can handle."

She snuffed the candle again, pulling away the air. "That's what I did before I came here, apparently. Put out a fire."

"Like that, with indirect Air weaves?"

"And it was a bigger fire."

"That's pretty precise. You have good instincts."

oioio

_Okay, miss too-busy-to-write, thanks for getting me in touch with Perrin at least. He said he's hanging out with philosophers now? Oh, and training with the Tower Guard. And hasn't seen you at all. You are okay, right?_

_Here, copy one of these and send it back:_

_Yes, Mat, I'm okay and just busy_

_No, Mat, they put me in a dungeon, please save me and bring (food, your choice)_

_Mat_

She told him she was fine, which was at least a little bit true after a week and a half of adjusting. She added that she might not turn down being locked in a dungeon if it meant she'd have fewer chores and more time to sleep. _He should like that._ As she sent it, she also promised herself that she'd find some way to check in on Perrin. Could she get Min to lure him to the library the next time Verin Sedai had her copying notes? Maybe. Of course, she'd have to find Min in the first place for that to work.

Rand hadn't sent anything. She might have tried answering his last letter - _I'm sorry, I thought about sending a vague and kind of chilly message like the one you sent me_ - but there were two other eletters, neither with a name attached.

_Egwene, call your parents. Or write them, I guess. They're fine, don't worry - but it's really important. I hope you actually get this._

It took her a minute to read the signature - an actual _signature_, stylused in - but above it Nynaeve had included Bran and Marin al'Vere's personal addresses, and the hotel's - presumably to be on the safe side. Egwene couldn't help being amused by that.

_Will you just_ tell_ them I'm fine? Forward this, or something. I'll write an actual letter to explain, but I don't have enough time to do it this way. _  
_Egwene_

She knew it made her look petulant, but it was true enough. Sending her own mother an eletter just seemed unnatural.

Besides, there was another message.

If not a very useful one.

_Hello, Egwene._

_I apologise for what I will have to leave out of this, but if you answer it I might be able to tell you more._

_We all survived an attack in Arafel, and while I doubt you have heard any rumours related to it I feel it's fair to reassure you, just in case. Your friend from home did have a close call, and so did my aunt. We moved on, according to her plans, but we have been frustrated._

_I wish you well._

_G.D._

It took her a moment, seeing the initials; she didn't know Galad's last name, but the style fit, and it couldn't really be from anyone else.

_I wish you all well, too. I don't know why you need an answer from me, but I hope this will do. Tell R I'm glad he's all right._

Suddenly terrified that Last would ring before she finished, she sent it unsigned.

oioio

Getting to know the other novices was an intermittent and slightly dangerous thing, not least because any unnecessary talking or loitering could land them in Moria Sedai's study. Somehow, though, it happened.

Rather, Ibrella happened to Tabiya and Shanal, and Egwene was there to - well, put out the fire Ibrella had accidentally started in Tabiya's notebook, just before it spread to Shanal's sleeve.

"It was just a _joke_," Tabiya muttered as she waved away the smoke. "And you southerners say _we're_ temperamental?"

Shanal was looking at Egwene, though, as her green-eyed Saldaen friend kept at Ibrella. "You're the new girl." Egwene nodded. "You're not hurt, right?"

Considering Egwene was still in the doorway, the question seemed strange. "Why would I be hurt?"

Ibrella's shout drowned her out, as Tabiya had found a pitcher of water and emptied it over the shorter novice's head. Neither of them was much older than Egwene, it turned out; and Tabiya might have been younger and lying about it. So Shanal said. She claimed to be twenty-four, herself, and in her seventh year as a novice. That made Egwene shiver._ It can't really take that long - and who knows how many years as an Accepted after that? How can they let us in and never warn us we'll be here for so _long_?_

Ibrella had a few words for Egwene at lunch that day, waving her over to the corner she and her friends had claimed. "Thanks for not reporting me earlier. That -" she lowered her voice - "the fire thing doesn't happen a lot, you know?"

"Only twice a week or so," a blue-eyed girl chimed in. She introduced herself as Marah, an embarrasment to her homeland of Tear. It took Egwene a minute to get the joke. "And Ibrella's Amadician, so we bond over our resentment. But she has some serious issues to work through."

"I'm right _here_, Marah."

When Egwene said she was from Manetheren, they both looked sympathetic. And from then on they would at least nod when they saw her, and she would nod back, just as if she understood the secret club they seemed to have let her into.

oioio

She received a summons from the Keeper of the Chronicles in the middle of a history lecture. Danelle Sedai seemed to barely hear her question, but excused her after she held up the sealed note. "See me after Last, child. You may go."

At least she didn't have to walk far, as Perrin apparently did. "It was rather a risk bringing either of you in." Siuan Sanche was Tairen like Marah, who seemed to see the Keeper as a personal inspiration; but her blue eyes were much harder than the novice's. "I have heard from Moiraine, and she wants you both on alert to leave Tar Valon at short notice." She looked at Perrin, adding "You in particular. I can see why." The Keeper returned to her desk abruptly, and began sorting through papers. "Tell her what you know, Perrin. And feel free to sit. My office is not compromised." The Keeper did not look up.

Perrin took a seat - the chair nearest the door - with a relieved posture but an anxious face. "Moiraine - er, Sedai - took Rand to Shienar after the attack. She said he couldn't tell you, but she has some kind of plan to find the Eye of the World. When Mat gets here - he says he wrote you, right?"

Egwene nodded, but just answered "The Eye of the World?" She thought she'd heard the name. Something to do with the Breaking? But Perrin answered.

"It's mostly a legend in the Borderlands. Well, not really a legend since people say they have found it, in the Blight, when they needed safe haven really badly. But apparently the - people - who are after us want to find it for some reason, and Moiraine wants us to stop them."

_For some reason_. "It's _saidin_," she said without thinking. "That's what it was - a reserve of untainted Power, for male channelers to use when -" Finally, she caught herself, but she knew she felt the Keeper's eyes on her. So she met them. "The Forsaken want a safe source, for what? They're already insane."

Perrin was staring at the Keeper. "Why would Moiraine want us?"

The Keeper looked down. "You, at least, are _ta'veren_. A living twist in the Pattern, more or less, in case no one has mentioned it to you. Did Moiraine know?"

"She never said anything," was all Perrin said.

"Myself, I can see it, though I wish I had seen you last winter. There's an idea I've heard, that the Shadow itself creates the phenomenon by paying a man too much attention, and the Pattern itself responds. An opposite reaction."

Perrin shuddered. "And if I'm _ta'veren_ - you think she wants to find the Eye with me? Is Egwene ta'veren, too?"

The Keeper narrowed her eyes. "No. But I can't justify your being here indefinitely, so if you would return to the matter at hand." Looking down again, she added, "though you might ask your friend Elmindreda Farshaw what she knows, next time you see her."

_Elmin_ - "Who?" Egwene whispered to Perrin, who grinned.

"Min's full name."

"_Oh_."

"I'm not sure what else I can tell you, though, Egwene. Not right now." Perrin looked at the Aes Sedai. "Is there anywhere I could find you? They've had us training outside the walls most of the week, but when I'm here ..."

Egwene shook her head. "I don't know. If they ever sent me to sweep the South Plaza -" something he'd said earlier came back with force. "Did they tell you about the attack, when they left? All Galad said was that it was in Arafel."

Perrin's eyes widened. "There were more Shadowspawn. Draghkar, sort of like men with wings -"

A knock rang through the office, artificially amplified; Siuan Sedai rose to shove a bundle of scrolls for the Great Library into Egwene's arms, and hastily gave Perrin a folder marked "Bridge Disputes" to take to the guard captain.

Then, the Amyrlin Seat herself came in, and Egwene hurried through what she hoped was a suffiecient curtsy before ducking out, only realising that Perrin hadn't left with her when the door shut at her back.

oioio

She heard _nothing_ for the next two weeks - no letters (though she wrote to her family, and was told the letter could be sent by way of the "slow post", she started to wish she'd sent an eletter instead, no matter how awkward) , no chance meetings with Perrin or Min. Nothing.

But there was a new novice, and - in what Theodrin told her was a tradition as old as novice status itself, being occasionally revived - Egwene was given a day off to introduce her to life in the White Tower. Elayne, who didn't give her last name, was tall, golden-haired, and looked nowhere near as lost in the Tower as Egwene remembered having been.

Some things, she seemed to understand better than Egwene did - like the differences between the Ajahs, the way they seemed to have formed alliances without ever really declaring them. And when Egwene said she was a wilder, Elayne perked up. "So you were born with it? So was I. My mother -" and she stopped, but resumed with only the faintest bit of pink in her cheeks. "Mother was excited about it, because she could learn, but she was never very strong."

"So she isn't Aes Sedai?" She hadn't heard of any Aes Sedai with daughters.

Elayne shook her head, then hesitated before answering. "It worked out for me, anyway. I probably wouldn't exist if she were."

Egwene had taken advantage of their temporary freedom to visit the garden, though they were far from alone. Elayne gravitated to the roses. As Egwene followed her, they heard voices through the leaves.

"You should keep walking. It's good for you."

"Half an hour past, I was to stand still for that madwoman in the library, and now - move, you say." It was a man's voice, deep but very quiet, and they heard leaves rustling.

"Don't hurt yourself." All movement stopped. Meeting Elayne's eyes, Egwene led her conspiratorially to the edge of the roses to see a curly-haired, bitter-faced Accepted glaring at a man who was frozen in place. She couldn't see his face, but she reached for the Source - almost touched it, and in that moment she caught a glimpse of the weaves of air holding him in place.

"Don't bother,_ Accepted_," he rasped. "I didn't look to draw _your_ blood."

"No? Then stay out of the shadows."

The man moved again, but stiffly, on through the garden, and as the Accepted followed he murmured about soldiers and prisoners, something that made her grab his arm and march him back and forth in long paces.

And Elayne pulled Egwene around the roses, ducking behind a standalone pillar. "That was the false Dragon, wasn't it?"

"Which one?" Egwene answered before thinking. Tabiya had been swearing that Mazrim Taim, the Saldaean male channeler who'd been building what support he could since before Tabiya left for the Tower, would be caught any day. "He should have found another country to hide in. He should have _known_ to get out of Saldaea." Hearing her talk, somehow, made Egwene keep thinking he _had_ been captured and tried, and she just hadn't noticed.

Still, Elayne looked at her like she'd sprouted thorns herself. On her forehead. "_Logain Ablar?_ My mother's - I mean, a friend of hers is Red Ajah and she was called in for his capture. She described him just like that."

_Who is your mother, the Panarch of Tarabon?_ "The Ghealdanin? I'd never seen him before, but he was brought in the same day I got here." Elayne raised her eyebrows. And Egwene, suddenly, had to ask: "Would you ever be Red Ajah, Elayne?"

The other girl stopped in her tracks. "No. I never even thought about it, but - whatever we hear about them, they do what has to be done, right? I have to respect that."

oioio

_We received your letter, Egwene. I can't say I'm happy with your choice, and can't repeat most of what your mother said about it, but I want you to remember that we love you no matter what, and will be here if you need us. And since you may not know, you have the right as a Manetherenian to leave your training at any time, so if you want to come home at any time, reach out to us. We will help. Be careful, baby girl. And don't be so old-fashioned - we can use these machines, see?_

He had just signed it "_Your Da_". Egwene blinked back tears. As it happened, no one _had_ told her she had any special right to leave - but she doubted, even if they let her leave freely, that they would let her back at all afterward.

She sent her love, and her apologies for any worry she'd caused. It wasn't much, but she felt better afterward.

_Egwene, _

_We have been in Fal Dara far too long now. I meant to answer you sooner, but I also imagined I would have something useful to tell you long before this point._

_The good news is that this should only read properly on your screen. I am taking the chance that it's true._

_My aunt hasn't given up on the Eye, as you and Perrin were apparently told about somewhat, but the Shienarans have been less than accomodating. They believe that the rules that usually protect the Eye from the wrong sort of visitor cease whenever it is found, and so our visit would make it vulnerable to the Forsaken. Hold it in place, in a sense, where it usually moves. Unfortunately, I believe they're honest about this, but I also have my doubts that they'll be able to deter honest seekers forever. Or Moiraine has her doubts, really, and I think she's right._

_She has gone to Fal Moran in person to ask their king's permission, and even he refused. The lady here, Amalisa, hasn't let her sleep in the same room two nights running, and her arrival point here is always guarded now. The Greens stationed here rarely let either of us out of sight. A few even escorted her to Fal Moran._

_They are also bracing for battle here, based on reports from their scouts. Rand wants to fight. I know Moiraine will put aside our differences and assist them as they asked her; I have to be there. Just as well to see real battle now. I will look out for Rand, if I can't dissuade him from joining us, but I understand you can reach him. Would he listen to you?_

_Best,_  
_G.D._

Egwene didn't know when she started shaking, but one word repeated in her mind. _Battle. Rand, in a battle._ There was no chance he'd listen to her if she told him not to go, and frankly she wasn't sure what to say. The _Shadow is already after you, and you want to go to the bl - Blight itself?_ And then it crystallised, in a way. _They're_ already after him. _And if he stayed behind in Fal Dara, why couldn't they find him there? Oh, Rand._

She couldn't stop him, but she told him to take care of himself and do his father proud. And then she was going to answer Galad's eletter, but she heard a knock on her door.

"Egwene?" It was Elayne, who had been put in the room right by Egwene's but hadn't said more than hello or good night since that first day. Were her eyes red? "Could I hide in here for a while? I mean, I need to send a message -"

"Your console isn't working?" Egwene looked back - she'd only just started a message to Galad, but she hadn't planned to write much anyway. "You can use mine -"

Elayne shook her head. "No, I have -" she held up something small and flat, maybe a phone - "I just need, um, company."

"Elayne, good job sneaking that in, but if they find it -"

The new girl laughed, and came closer. "They already found the one I had. This is Gawyn's - my brother - and it's, um, more secure than those things are. And more functional, I bet." She glanced at Egwene's console, then did a double-take.

And shrieked.

"What?" _Did something else come in? Oh, no._ Egwene pushed past Elayne, half-panicking, wondering at the same time what could be so bad, or why she was feeling guilty already when, really, she wasn't the one who'd failed to mind her own business. "What does it -?"

"Galad? How do you know Galadedrid_ Damodred_?" She practically spit the name, rounding on Egwene. She couldn't read her expression, though. "That's him, right? You _write_ to him?"

"His aunt - found me, Elayne. And a friend of mine from home is still travelling with them, so Galad -" Egwene tried to calm down. "And not that it's my business any more than my mail is yours, but how do _you_ know them?" What was that last name, Damodred? It sounded vaguely familiar.

"I don't - look, never mind, this was idiotic of me -"

"Elayne -"

But the taller novice had stalked out the door.

Egwene wasn't sure why it should bother her so much, but it did. She was too upset to send Galad more than a thank you for writing.

oioio

A few days later, Mat and Perrin showed up in the kitchens, and Egwene had been scrubbing pots so furiously that she didn't even see them before Mat started laughing.

"So _this_ is the belly of the beast?" He seemed to be asking Perrin, but then he waved from his side of the doorway. "Hi, Egwene."

**AN - **This is the chapter that never ends. Gaah. Sorry. (I won't lie, plays are easier to write because you can just fade to black, then have the characters enter in knit hats or something to indicate that months have passed. Live and learn.)

After I wrote Elayne's freakout, I walked around with a sad look on my face for fifteen minutes, but it has to be that way. For now.

And Tremaile - um, are you reading my drafts somehow? (... how are they? Okay?) First, that was technically, possibly Herid Fel you saw with Min in the last chapter, just too lost in thought to say anything yet. And then Logain - who shows up here a little more recently gentled, so I thought he might have a little bit of fire left, or at least some anger cutting through his miserable depression - well, I hope he didn't disappoint.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

There were some allowances made when a novice had visitors in town, but Mat still pushed their limits for the next half-week. When he could get Perrin out of Tower Guard training, he pushed them even more, probably just to show off. Egwene appreciated it. Mostly.

After the kitchens, where they were chased out by the head cook before he could do much more than comment on the surprising lack of glamour in Aes Sedai training, it was the library (for which he'd written himself a day pass, and where Min appeared with several thick volumes and offered to stand guard for them - until she got distracted by the too-delicate, old book Egwene was supposed to be copying selected excepts from). That was where he explained, in a way, that they'd been held up outside Caemlyn by rioting until Thom took off, and that now Andra was supposedly visiting an old friend in the Tower "and I really can't believe he knows an Aes Sedai. I guess we'll find out tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

Theodrin offered to let her off the leash a little, too, the first few days. "Or your friends could sit in on your training, but -" Egwene shook her head at that. Hard. As thrilled as she had been when she got three small orbs of light going that evening - each with the different mix of Fire and Air to make a distinct hue - she felt her old friends might be less impressed by her juggling.

When she was ordered to report to a Green sister she hadn't heard of before, just the day after Mat came, she found what she hoped was the right door and knocked.

Perrin let her in. "Hi, Egwene." He seemed to have borrowed a full Guard's coat; she didn't ask. Of course, she didn't have time.

"Is that her? Hmm." A tall woman with dark hair and full lips had stood, green skirts rustling as she approached; still-new instincts told Egwene to curtsy even though, in some way, the woman didn't quite _look_ Aes Sedai. Still, she must be.

Mat chuckled, and Egwene stood back up to shoot him a look. She didn't curtsy _that_ badly anymore. He just grinned back.

Then she saw Andra sitting next to him, and flinched. "I'm sorry about your car," she blurted.

A hand on her shoulder was guiding her to the chairs; the Aes Sedai's laugh in her left ear felt unnaturally loud. "Sit down, Egwene. What did she do to your car, Lan?" She looked back to Perrin, too. "You needn't stand guard this whole evening. Come on."

"No kind of damage. She borrowed it under some duress." After a quick, possibly forgiving nod at Egwene, Andra (_Lan Andra_? It was an awkward name, maybe, but not unspellable) looked back to the Aes Sedai. "Something like the duress which led your colleague to bring the young men out herself."

"My colleague - oh, Moiraine Damodred. You know I've never actually met her? Her reputation is -" Egwene wasn't sure what that wave of Iselle's hand meant. "But as I was saying before, no, she isn't Red."

"I suppose that would have been good to know before, but Iselle, you can imagine that the coincidence of her being there, and boys of a certain age -" The dour-faced man cut off. "It's good news, or good enough."

Iselle Sedai laughed again. Egwene had never seen an Aes Sedai laugh so much. "We can use it. And we'll probably be running back to the Blues' arms anyway if Katerine doesn't stop accusing our teams in Saldaea of assisting the false Dragon and his less-than-hundred Companions."

Egwene shivered, and it took a minute to remember why. _Is he calling them Companions? Tabiya never mentioned that he was calling them _Companions_. Just like Lews Therin's._ She'd talked about the man's rumoured efforts to recruit other male channelers - and at some level she even seemed to admire the idea of fighting the Shadow to the last of their ability, calling it "very _tai'shar_ of them. But they need to give it up before they're too crazy to know they're crazy."

Iselle noticed her shiver, apparently; and surprisingly, she changed the subject, asking the boys about their respective journeys (in Perrin's case, mostly uncomfortable rides on horseback in the area around Tar Valon; Iselle seemed to sympathise, saying "only Saldaeans and other madmen would _choose_ horseback these days"), and she asked Egwene about her goals. That was a little nerve-wracking."You seem like you'll be strong. Don't waste it."

oioio

Chores afterward meant that Egwene returned to the novice rooms even later than usual.

Also unusual was the young man leaning on the wall by Elayne's door. After noticing just how well his shirt fit, Egwene looked upward, and saw curly reddish hair over blue eyes exactly like Elayne's. _The brother she mentioned_. Egwene didn't know what to say.

"Sorry, but is Elayne usually so late coming back?"

"I wouldn't know," she had to answer. _We haven't really talked since she shouted at me and ran off without an explanation._

"Oh. I'm her brother, by the way." He bowed, archaically. "Gawyn."

"She's mentioned you," Egwene said without thinking. "Are you allowed to be in here?" She seemed to remember warning Mat away from any visits to the novice quarters that afternoon.

Straightening up, he frowned. "Not really. So don't tell. You are ...?"

"Egwene. I won't, but be careful."

"Thank you, Egwene." He seemed to be repeating her name so he'd remember it; maybe giving it had been a bad idea. "Good night."

"Good night," she mumbled, and ducked into her room.

oioio

Ibrella and Marah had perfected the art of rapid debates over breakfast; Egwene could never participate, not if she wanted to eat as well. Somehow, they'd gotten onto Ajah politics.

"The Reds_ are_ Greens, just more specialist about it." Marah gulped her water in one go; it looked uncomfortable.

"More vindictive is more like it. Greens fight Shadowspawn, Reds fight _men_. At least some of whom probably just wanted to be normal." Ibrella shuddered. "They remind me of the Whitecloaks back home, sometimes."

"Oh, I can get that part, Brel, but they're guarding against real dangers. The Reds, I mean."

"Aes Sedai are dangerous, technically. The Illuminators were dangerous too. Does that make -"

Marah sputtered. "They weren't _crazy_ dangerous, and neither are we. You know what I mean."

Ibrella glared into the distance. Then it turned into a squint. "Is that your hot friend over there, Egwene? With the guy in the hat."

It was Perrin - and Mat. The hat she didn't recognise. She waved them over, as Marah continued. "I'm just saying they were bound to join up eventually, and if the Blues want to be _jealous_ about it -" Ibrella was busy smiling at Perrin. Egwene wasn't even sure how they'd met, but it was pretty funny to see Perrin blush at the Amadician's obvious interest.

Mat dropped a hand on Egwene's shoulder. "Can you come up to Iselle's this morning?"

"Nooo." She looked up just to raise her eyebrows at him. _Free mornings? Please._

"Didn't think so. Okay, we'll fill you in later." Perrin had been ducking his head at some comment from Ibrella; Mat grabbed his arm to lead him away. "Something's definitely happened. Finally."

Marah stared after them, then turned to Egwene. "Was he talking about Iselle _Sedai_? The Scattered Green?"

Egwene thought fast. "She's an old friend of the person he's been working for. What's a Scattered Green?"

"Crazy. That's all you need to know. Tell your friends to watch out." Marah nodded authoritatively, and took a bite of scrambled egg.

oioio

What had happened was that Trollocs had attacked Fal Dara's main fortress, killing a few prisoners and trying to kill Rand as well. "They call it the Keep up there," Mat was explaining as they rushed up a hallway - he hadn't said where they were going - "as in 'keep Trollocs out, but great job at that."

Andra had been following watchfully, but he spoke up firmly now. "The Keep is very well watched, and the only explanation is some betrayal from within. Do not blame Lord Agelmar."

"I wasn't blaming Lord Agelmar. I've never even heard of him." Mat fell back, fuming.

Perrin spoke up. "Moiraine - er, Sedai says it's time for us to go. Iselle said to meet in the Keeper's study, so -"

"They're working together now?" Egwene asked, but of course Perrin just nodded. Now that she knew where they were going, she took the lead; she thought Andra gave her a strange look as she knocked on the Keeper's door

Siuan Sedai didn't look harried, but she definitely sounded it. "Everyone in, quickly." As she turned around, she started talking to Iselle again. "She doesn't want him in danger, so she takes him in easy range of Tarwin's Gap, and now _she _is upset I won't just send two _ta'veren_ into the storm before the waves have stopped hitting the coast. She had better be waiting for me."

Iselle Sedai sighed. "So shall I set you up with the Border now?"

"Let's try." The Keeper opened a single-span gateway across her window wall. Oddly, she then tucked herself into a corner, to the side of it. Iselle stayed before it, exhaling slowly as she saw the woman on the other side. "Alanna."

"Iselle!" The Aes Sedai through the gateway nearly blended in with her surroundings at first, in a green-trimmed coat and boots, but her eyes stood out as a strangely dark blue. "I don't suppose you're looking to come up, are you?"

"Not so much myself, Alanna, as these youths with me." She paused. "Is there something I might do, even there?"

Alanna shook her head. "This particular morning, there might. I would vouch for you. The Keep is sealed otherwise, unfortunately - what were they after?" Alanna leaned forward.

"Meeting with a friend. They're southlanders -"

Alanna cut her off with a raised hand. "They wouldn't have something to do with the young lord that Blue brought from out west, by chance?" Iselle didn't quite cringe, but if Alanna could see her fists clench as Egwene could, she hadn't had to. "Her standing is beyond compromised at this point, Iselle. How did you get mixed in with this?"

Andra stepped forward, but Siuan stepped out of her corner at the same moment. "I suppose we couldn't hope for a better welcome. Alanna, could you perhaps allow my disgraced friend to speak with us as well? With this much supervision."

Alanna leaned against a post of some kind - a battlement maybe. "Of course you would be part of it. Siuan, with respect, she has stirred up her own whirlpool -"

"And you'll stop her from responding to the Keeper of the Chronicles?"

Alanna shouted over her shoulder, and a man stepped into the edge of view. "Lord Ingtar, might you or a page please bring Moiraine Sedai from the cells? Her superior wants a word with her."

"Of course, Aes Sedai." The man scarcely glanced at the gateway; his footsteps disappeared into the sound of a wind gust.

"Have you lot actually imprisoned a fellow sister, Alanna?"

The gray-clad woman may have rolled her eyes. "We would if we had to, but no, Siuan, it hasn't come to that. Yet. Your woman has been examining - what the invaders left behind them last night, with Verin Sedai. Grisly business, we have left them to it."

Iselle murmured something, too soft for Egwene to hear but aloft with surprise.

"We may have to travel more traditionally, I take it?" Andra had approached the gateway, tapping a hand along a chair's back like it was a guardrail. "We have not introduced ourselves, Alanna Sedai, but this is Matrim Cauthon -" Mat jerked upright in his seat, then reluctantly tipped that new hat of his - "my personal assistant, and that is Perrin Aybara, a trainee for your Tower's militia." Perrin seemed to decide a salute was appropriate. "I myself am an old friend of Iselle Sedai's. Her involvement in this may be blamed on me."

Alanna appeared ready to respond, but Moiraine rushed to her side. In a sense. She didn't even look at the other woman before gazing through the gateway. "Siuan?" She was breathing hard, keeping disheveled hair out of her face with dirty hands.

"A sight for sore eyes," Siuan answered; maybe it was an inside joke. "Are you really so set on your plans, Moiraine? I'll order a ship to bring you down myself, if you aren't."

Moiraine blinked long. "I may have new information, Siuan. Which I would love to discuss in better circumstances." She seemed to scan the room; Egwene curtsied, of course, and Mat leaned over to whisper, "they really _own_ you now." But Moiraine went on. "I don't suppose your_ ta'veren_ were cleared to join me here?'

"I'm sorry, Moiraine. But a drive shouldn't take more than two days." Siuan glanced at Andra, who nodded. "Where is your charge, by the way? I still haven't had a look."

"Training with friends, as it happens. He wasn't hurt this morning -" Moiraine hesitated - "but he might have been. As before."

Alanna had been silent, staring. "They're _ta'veren_, Siuan? You're certain?"

"Does that change anything?"

Alanna settled back. "Not immediately, but Moiraine might have helped her case by mentioning it earlier." She looked at her subject. "Did you both have something to discuss here, or did you miss each other's eyes that much?"

Moiraine looked fixedly away, and Siuan continued where she had left off. "At this rate, we may as well send these two along the land route - Mister Andra, you are willing?" He nodded. "Iselle, if you wanted to travel ahead, depending on Alanna's discretion or lack thereof, it might well help to have somewhat of an advocate in place to receive them."

Moiraine seemed to freeze. "There are three, Siuan. Don't forget the novice."

"The novice? No, Moiraine. You never said -"

"It may be a hunch, but her presence -" finally, Moiraine actually _looked_ at her. "You had planned to come with the others, Egwene?"

"No. Nobody mentioned -" she looked around, to Perrin, Mat; to Iselle Sedai. "I can't just abandon training. I -" Even as she said it, she remembered that she _could_. A runaway novice of Manetherenian origin wouldn't be pursued. But, the second part of the rule said, she would never be allowed to put on white again. "I would go, if I could help, I mean. But I couldn't come back." She breathed out, realised she'd been talking much too fast. "So I want to stay."

That fast, the five days of waves and notes and voices from home were over - she almost knocked Mat's hat off as he hugged her goodbye this time, Perrin asked very quietly if she knew a car she could steal if she changed her mind and followed them again; one laugh, and she realised her eyes were wet already, and tried to hide them behind Perrin's shoulder as Iselle Sedai stepped through the gateway.

Siuan found something - work orders for repairs to the libraries? - to send Egwene off with, and told her she was right to stay with kind approval; still, she made Egwene leave first.

oioio

She tried to keep especially busy after that, to catch up on anything she had let slip before, but what had seemed so overwhelming when she started had somehow turned routine, almost crushingly empty.

But something about that emptiness made her notice more, like she could fill it with little pieces of other people's lives.

She was lying in bed, not ready to sleep even though she wanted to take advantage of an early night, when she realised she could hear someone crying. And voices.

"I don't know what I'd do, but it's home. Maybe I could at least -"

"She'll be all right, you know that. The Succession was worse, and she got through it."

"Gawyn, if Elaida left, it's not all right."

"That's to calm things down."

She pulled a pillow over her ears when she realised just who she was hearing; faintly, she was envious that Elayne at least had someone to talk to. She shouldn't be; Elayne didn't seem to have made many friends among the novices.

Tabiya's homeland was having trouble, too, and she looked very young as she whispered the latest news to Egwene over the simple _ter'angreal_ they were supposed to be looking at, but not touching, one morning. "They _caught_ him, Egwene. Can you believe it? And he broke free. Some of his men -" she halted as the Aes Sedai watching them passed too close - "killed Aes Sedai."

Egwene couldn't think of anything to say. "They didn't announce anything -"

"Sheriam Sedai says they're holding off - but that isn't the _point_. Egwene. What if he's really _it_?"

Egwene shook her head.

"But he might be. And it's not like I want the world to end or any of the propecies, but -"

"Stop talking unless you've _seen_ something, Tabiya."

Tabiya tried to cover by saying that two of the ter'angreal were both rods. It was true, but more than that it was hilarious.

ioioi

She had a strange dream that night, after the deaths of two Reds had been announced. She was in the Hall where sitters met, and knew it even though she'd never seen it before. Two women in cloaks faced a man in chains.

"You are as deluded as the rest," the taller said, but the chained man merely smiled and answered, "_More_."

Then they vanished as the room lit up again - when had it even gone dark? - but a woman in a white dress stood in their place.

Egwene ducked behind a pillar and woke up.

oioio

She was sent to Moria Sedai one day for trying to channel spilled ink back into the pot. Danelle Sedai, the Brown the Keeper had sent her library plans to, nearly opened the door directly into Egwene's face. Worse, Egwene was the one who had to apologise.

The lingering fury took the edge off of Moria's ruler slaps, at least.

oioio

Ibrella had lent Egwene a sewing kit the week before, after the left pocket in her dress came loose, and she tagged along the corridor the next night to retrieve it.

They arrived just as Gawyn was ducking out of Elayne's room; Ibrella's jaw dropped. She was still speechless when Gawyn disappeared down the hall. "What was he doing here?"

"Ibrella, come on -" Egwene opened the door to her room.

"You know men can't be in here -"

"So does he, but it really isn't my business."

"He was - wait, was he visiting his sister?"

"_Yes._" She dragged Ibrella in. Then lowered her voice. "You know them?" She thought she'd left the sewing kit on her bench, but somehow it was sticking out from under her extra pair of shoes instead.

"I know _who_ they are. And the rules still apply to them and they should know that." Egwene tossed her the sewing kit. "Thanks." She glared at the wall. Right then, the console on the opposite wall came live, and Ibrella spun as if she had felt it somehow. Her mood lifted -"See you tomorrow!" - and she ran out the door, which was also a violation of novice rules.

Instead of calling her on it, Egwene darted over to check her eletters. Her family had almost repaired all of the damage from Bel Tine; Perrin and Mat had arrived safely in Fal Dara.

oioio

She saw Elayne, red-eyed yet again, being lectured by an Aes Sedai in red the next afternoon.

"The Tower must come first as long as you are here. You can't let anyone find reason to question you."

Elayne looked tired, slouching, but not quite defeated. "I know, Elaida."

And the Aes Sedai happened to see Egwene at that moment; looking back to Elayne, she corrected her. "Elaida Sedai. More protocol you need to adhere to, Elayne, if you want to achieve what you're capable of." Looking at Egwene again - long enough, this time, for Elayne to turn and look too - she added, "See Moria again after your lessons. You cannot falter like this."

Egwene tried to pass them without looking at all, but it just made her imagine a look of betrayal on Elayne's face. Easy, as she'd seen it before.

oioio

It wasn't so surprising that she dreamed of Moria's study, after those few days. It was extremely strange to dream that Danelle Sedai had trapped the Mistress of Novices in midair, and was walking around her while giving her instructions on which novice lessons to emphasise.

She tried, in the dream, to back away; she caught the Brown sister's eye, just for a moment, and then felt her bare feet slapping the hallway floor as she ran back downstairs.

oioio

She had almost forgotten the dream until an afternoon three days later, when Danelle Sedai stopped her on the way out of an uncharacteristically intense history lecture, and told her that the level of inattention she had exhibited was unacceptable.

Egwene wanted to argue, but Marah happened to pass by at that moment, mouthing _what under the Light?_ and looking sympathetic. And Danelle grabbed Egwene's chin. "Exactly like that." And hauled her to Moria.

The Mistress of Novices set her ruler down when she saw Egwene, but maybe it was only for the moment. Besides, she knew the power of a disappointed look.

"Egwene, sit down," she said. "What has _happened_ to you? I begin to wish that other young man of yours hadn't come to visit. You're moon-eyed and dreaming ever since.

Egwene wanted to argue, but - yet again - an apology came out instead. "I'm sorry, Moria Sedai. I guess it's just -" she twisted her hands in her lap. "I wasn't really lonely before - and I'm not now, really. But I feel like I'm missing out. Somehow." She raised her eyes back to Moria Sedai's face, but she couldn't read anything there.

"You can't let any of these things distract you. You know that." Egwene nodded dutifully. "You have too much potential, and anything you find tripping you up must be cleared away as fast as possible. Danelle -" and it seemed the Mistress of Novices took a deep breath - "what was it this time?"

The blue-eyed Brown, who had been examining an old map on Moria's wall, blinked and turned. "Inattention."

Moria raised her eyebrows - did she even smile slightly? - and looked back at Egwene. "I think the best option right now might be a bit of fresh air. You could clear your head - what would you suggest, Danelle, the Braem Wood gatherers?"

A work detail. Egwene felt frozen; even as a part of her mind considered that it might be nice, she knew that novices sent on work details only ever worked, and weren't permitted to channel at all. _I'll fall behind. Behind what?_

Her stomach sank as Danelle nodded. "I could take her this afternoon, if you like, Moria. I wouldn't mind a walk in the forest."

"How long?" was all Egwene could choke out.

"A week might do," Moria assured her. "At the least, we'll check in on you then."

The two Aes Sedai looked at one another, and then a very small gateway opened - seemingly, a miscalculation, as it ripped a small bush in half. Egwene watched a few leaves, or razored parts of them, flutter to the ground. _It's only one week, but I wish they had let me say goodbye. To anyone._ Danelle Sedai gripped Egwene's shoulder - her hand wasn't gentle at all - and led her into the forest.

The noonday sun casting straight gold threads between needled branches was the first sign that something had gone wrong.

**AN:** Thank you, User1987, for that review! I hope this was worth the wait. (I lost the first draft, and spent a while trying to convince myself I'd never loved it anyway before I finally sat down today to rewrite it.)

And Tremaile, thank you so much for your detailed responses. Even if (or especially _because_) you call out my tricks every time. :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The next few hours played in her head repeatedly over the next month, but even as it happened it fractured somehow, became unreal to the small, desperate part of her mind that wanted her to remember who she was.

_"It is a bit of a walk, child, but you understand I didn't want to risk injuring an unwary local by taking you to one of the footpaths in this part of the wood." For all her talk of a walk in the forest, Danelle didn't seem to be looking at the scenery at all._

It hurt to think about the things she should have done differently, the ways she might have escaped if she'd just _known_ what was coming. She couldn't have known. But she also couldn't stop replaying it, couldn't stop wishing it had gone _differently_ somehow.

_The edge of the forest was close, too close; the simple stone buildings that appeared between the trees were probably too numerous to belong to a simple forest community, but she only knew that later. Danelle Sedai knocked on the door of one, and Egwene should have run then, before that woman in red and blue opened the door, before they walked into the too-bright room where Renna collared her_.

She only knew she was in Falme, the port at the end of Toman Head peninusula, after the first resistance fighters were driven out. It happened maybe a week after her capture. Renna, with her brutally genuine smile, told Egwene that Falme's people had been so well-behaved otherwise that the Seanchan leadership suspected an outside group of trying to take advantage. "They never found the support they hoped for, I think. Their fights over Falme's hinterlands on the plain, their wars, won them few friends here."

_She had felt the collar close around her throat, not cool or warm, and wrapped a hand around the thin silver rope attached to it like a leash; wide-eyed, she spun to fight her captor, only to collapse on the floor from her own punch. And she felt Air pin her to the floor, and saw that they shared the room with a coterie of soldiers whose helmets made them look eerily like insects, and she thought she heard Danelle answering a woman with the strange, drawling accent that Egwene would hear so much more of, would come to despise._

As a _damane_ - the term didn't even mean a leashed person, but a leashed _thing_, because that was what women who could channel were to Renna, to all of the Seanchan invaders - she was to learn channeling for combat, to eventually fight for the Seanchan reconquest of their ancestral homeland. Renna told her, with pride - _so much_ sickening pride - that the true bloodline of Artur Hawkwing the Mad's son would "rescue" the Shadowed lands as they had rescued Falme from its oppressors to the north and south - "honourless merchants and shameless collectors, both, even without the heavy yoke of your Aes Sedai. And those who walk in the Light will welcome us, soon or fast."

_There was a woman with long black hair, but only on the top and back of her head, in the room; she examined Egwene, holding her by the chin, long nails digging into Egwene's cheeks. "You said this student was special. Why such a gift?"_

_"She is strong," Danelle answered. "And she will not be a threat to me here. This is a trade, High Lady Suroth. Know it for fair."_

Renna called their being leashed together being "complete", and Egwene was only allowed to touch the Source when they were _complete,_ under her trainer's supervision. It was disgusting, how fast she started looking forward to Renna's visits, to their outings; the woman would tell her to send lightning at a target (a tree, a crumbling shack, even a radio tower once), and Egwene would revel in the awareness of _everything_ that she was permitted, in the increasing amounts of _saidar_ she could handle, and even at the feeling of Renna's approval that sat like a rough, burning knot in the back of her mind.

_"Carry this bracelet," Renna had said, snapping the end of the leash off of her wrist the moment they got to Egwene's room. "Carry it as far as you can." She had never been in so much pain; it was a burn, the spasming of every muscle in her body, and pressure on her skull like a rain of simultaneous blows from inside and out. And Renna rescued her by taking the bracelet back, and stroked Egwene's hair soothingly. Nobody but Renna ever touched her, in that room in Falme._

She tried to sleep away every hour she could; sometimes it was easy, an instantaneous descent into darkness and dreams that grew ever more vivid as she tried to remember them (every detail) to steel herself against her new waking reality. Sometimes it was harder, and she tried to remember faces and voices from her life before, just to soothe herself: her mother smiling, her sisters calling her Eggs.

She'd picture the little things from her life before, like Bodewhin showing off one of her family's horses on an autumn night ride across the Cauthons' fields, or Rand pushing a hand through his hair, eyes grey in shadow as he tried to explain a joke without ruining it. Sometimes she tried to imagine the eletters she'd be getting - and sending back - if she were still in the White Tower. But she couldn't imagine what anyone would say, or what _she_ would be able to say, now that she was a thing instead if a person.

_They had burned her novice dress, burned everything she'd been wearing when she arrived, before her eyes. Just like they had at the White Tower._

When she dreamed of her family or her friends, the dreams weren't usually happy. Still, she cherished every detail she could remember of them.

On the easier nights, though, she found herself free and mostly alone in strange landscapes: green cliffs cut through with waterfalls, plains dotted with herds and colourfully painted old-fashioned wagons, the ruins of a walled city. But in a rocky desert, of all places, she heard a woman's voice.

"You mustn't come here. I will find you if you do it again."

She turned around, but not in time to get a good look at the other woman before she fell - it felt like a fall - through the ground, and into a dream about chopping vegetables where she held a knife that felt strange, and so _wonderfully_ solid, in her hand.

When she dreamed of strange places afterward, she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching. Always. Eventually, that too was comforting, because she was so very often alone when she was awake.

oioio

She wouldn't have counted the days even if she could - what would it matter? Why would she want to know how tiny a part of the rest of her life had passed like _this?_

It seemed to be full summer in Falme, warm but very humid, with the rainfall that came every few days only providing enough cool relief that she could never adjust to the comparatively dry days.

On one of those rainy mornings, Renna came in, smiling fondly. "I am sorry I wasn't here yesterday. Did they feed you well enough?" Renna liked to watch Egwene eat, to make sure she kept her energy up; she also insisted on checking her face for crumbs or splashes of sauce afterward, wiping off anything she saw. The idea of shoving her fork in the _sul'dam's_ eye when they sat there incomplete - _no! Unleashed, not incomplete_ - had occurred to Egwene early on, but her hand had clenched up painfully, uselessly, in that instant. It became another thing she would just try not to think about, that she _had_ to avoid thinking about just to keep moving in a way Renna might consider normal.

Egwene tried to stare at the floor, tried to push away the relief she'd felt when her _sul'dam_ came in - she hadn't _missed _the woman. Never. Renna walked over and raised Egwene's chin. "I am very excited about our trip today. Do not be afraid. You did so well with reading the small stones I brought you, Egwene, and I know you were happy to discover them. You will enjoy this."

Renna took her holder's bracelet off of its peg, and fastened it to her wrist. Egwene tried to blank out her thoughts - she still didn't know how much the _sul'dam_ could really understand, whether the leash created the same kind of unavoidable empathy in its holder as it inflicted on Egwene, but she had started to think the effect of the leash must be at least a little bit reciprocal. The closeness she felt terrified her; the way she couldn't help smiling when Renna patted her shoulder terrified her, too.

She followed the _sul'dam_ into the silvery morning rain. Because she had to. Renna permitted her to channel Water, forming a dome just over their heads, to keep them dry while they waited on the road for a special hired car. They were called cabs in Falme, Renna had said; now she promised that this cab would take them some distance inland, but for all her hints Renna never quite said why. To look at rocks?

Swept into _saidar_, which made the rain smell so strong and the buildings along the street loom darkly majestic instead of dull, Egwene nearly didn't notice another leashed pair or women approaching them down the street until she saw the glow of _saidar_ around them. That fast, she felt a stab of ice under her ribs, thought she felt her heart itself freeze, and she screamed.

Renna was screaming too, as Egwene clutched her own side and felt nothing but the damp of rain on her dress - but maybe that was the pain too, confusing the nerves in her hands even as it made the world go dark.

Then she felt no pain at all, only a strange chill creeping across her throat. A woman was leaning over her, grasping her arms and her waist to pull her off of the paving stones. Under gleaming black hair, her face was too blurry to register, but her blue and red dress was unmistakable; and Egwene could barely stand, maybe didn't _want_ to stand just to fall under another _sul'dam's _care, but she couldn't really resist the woman's pull either.

A thundering sound, but pulsing through the ground not the sky, materialised into what might be the hoofbeats of horses. She thought she glimpsed them, hazily, a cluster of at least two dozen tall beasts headed right down the street.

"We have to take her underground, Selene," a voice by her ear was saying. "Let's get out of this."

The voice wasn't Seanchan. It _was_ familiar. _Elayne. They got Elayne, too? How many of us are they taking - and why?_

But as the two taller women hauled her underground, Egwene couldn't imagine any _sul'dam_ letting her _damane_ address her the way Elayne was talking to hers. "Did you really have to _kill_ her?"

"You don't think she deserved it?" The dark-haired woman's voice was like bells in frozen air.

And Egwene stumbled on the stone steps, and realised that she was crying. For Renna._ Oh, Light, no. I wanted her gone. Didn't I?_

Elayne let her go at the bottom of the steps, and Egwene fell to her knees, burying her face in dark grey fabric that smelled like the rain.

**AN:**

And that was how I learned that some chapters can only be written and revised under assurance that there's a glass of wine (or three) at the end of it. I have this theory that Min's visits gave Egwene a tenuous but powerful lifeline in the original series, and without her in place ... I kind of just kept muttering "I'm sorry, Egwene. I am really, really sorry" as I was writing.

Thanks to reviewers as always: Tremaile, Worn Steel7, and Elemental Dragon Slayer. Your input/questions are _so _appreciated, but then I throw a chapter like _this_ one at you. Worst. author. ever.


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